I got such wonderful comments on this post: Kids Who Look Like Us. Thanks everyone! Joel's comment in particular was so insightful that I wanted to be sure no one missed it.

From Joel:

"When we started considering adoption a few months ago, my wife discovered one of the programs in Ethiopia an started leaning heavily in that direction. I had reservations, but for the longest time I couldn't put my finger on why. These children aren't any less beautiful, or valuable, or deserving of a loving home than any other. Why was I holding back?


"Then I came across some blogs on the Internet relating to international and transracial adoption, and the resources they pointed to, and it was like a light bulb went on. The fact that there are people talking about the issues involved and that there are books written and resources available on the issues involved in transracial adoption told me that there are in fact issues involved, and that I could face that and say honestly that there are things I don't know and don't understand, and that I could say this and try to work through it without being branded a racist. It wasn't that I value those children any less than any other children, it was that I was afraid of what I didn't know and of trying to work through what I didn't know. Once I came to this realization, all reservation was gone. I know and acknowledge, up front, eyes wide open, that there's a whole lot out there I don't know and don't understand about adoption and adopting internationally and adopting transracially, but I also know that there are books I can read, friends, family, and communities I can lean on, and most of all God's strength and guidance I can rely on. By his grace I believe we can provide a safe, loving home for all of our kids, biological and adopted, to grow and thrive."


I wrote [the above] in my autobiography for our homestudy, which is now in the process of being written for our attempt to adopt two babies from Ethiopia. Because your blog, Mary, along with Erin's, helped me see and understand that all that was holding me back was a fear of what I didn't know. Thank you for helping me see that, and for everything you've shared along the way!"

- Joel

Thanks, Joel, for sharing both your fears and how you got past them. I know that your words will be encouraging to many others who are doubtless struggling with some of the same fears over adopting transracially. I'd love to hear from you when you get your children home.

And thanks, everyone, for your wonderful comments lately. I can't even express how encouraging it is for me to get feedback on my writing here. Whether you agree or disagree with what I write, I value your viewpoints!! Keep those comments coming!