Much talk is devoted to the experience of a child being adopted into a family of another ethnicity. What about the biological children in a transracial adoptive family? Howe does it feel to field questions about your brother or sister on a regular basis? How does it feel to be part of a conspicuous family?

Recently I read a series of essays written by young adults who'd grown up with adopted siblings of another race. One young person was filling out a college application when she realized she didn’t know what state she was born in. Ironically, she knew exactly where her Korean brother had been born--- in fact she’d visited the city in Korea on a family trip. She knew about Korean traditions and customs. She even knew some Korean songs. But somehow she’d never heard the story of where she herself had been born.

Another bio child in an adoptive family said that when she and her brother got sick of explaining to people why he looked so different, they began telling curious people that they had a Black mailman. Yet another child mentioned feeling invisible in grocery stores when strangers would compliment her mother on her ‘beautiful children’. And at that moment they only had eyes for her exotic-looking Asian sisters.

Many young adults growing up with transracially adopted siblings also mention the bonds they have with their siblings, and the many good ways in which their siblings have impacted their lives. But reading stories like these made me realize how important it is to not let my biological children get lost as we work to teach our adopted children about their heritage, or as we field the many questions from well-meaning stranger. All our children are special and precious. They deserve to hear that, and their stories deserve to be told.

Related Reading
What if siblings object
Adoption Learning Class: Conspicuous families