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I have been intending for awhile to write about an article that I found awhile ago at allafrica.com. I’ve waited so long that now it is no longer available without a subscription. The article was written December 2, 2006 by Bathseba H. Belaiby who talks about the perception people around the world have of Africa.
I am sure the following will sound familiar to fellow Africans in the diaspora who, at one point or another of their stay in their adopted homes, have most certainly been faced with variations of “Are you really from Ethiopia?
But you look so well fed!”; “Oh, you grew up in Senegal? One of my uncles once attended a conference in Zimbabwe.”; “You’re from Nairobi? That is Africa’s capital city, right?”, “Say something in African.” Or, my ultimate favorite, related by a friend who hails from Rwanda: “You’re Rwandan? So, are you from the good ones or the bad ones?”
The international media has long portrayed Africa and Africans from a negative and overly simplistic perspective, thus reinforcing the stereotypical image of a dark, miserable, poverty and disease-ridden continent filled with hopeless people who either die of starvation; suffer from one disease or another; are killed in tribal clashes that seemingly erupt out of nowhere; or drown as they illegally try to cross into Europe.
The writer expressed the opinion that this perpetually negative spin on news was not helpful. He was quick to admit there is plenty to fix in Africa. But he feels that a more accurate portrayal of these challenges would be more beneficial to the continent’s development.
Adoptive Families and Ethiopia
I wonder what responsibility we as adoptive parents have in relationship to Ethiopia. I think of my circle of friends and family and wonder how they see Ethiopia. Do they picture a country where mothers lightly relinquish their children to strangers? Do they picture a country where the spread of AIDS is related to casual sex? Do they picture a country where men sit smoking while women work the fields? I’ve heard all of these stereotypes, and they bother me.
It is mostly for my children’s sake. They are of Ethiopia. I want them to feel a pride in their birth country. I want them to think of their mothers as caring people who relinquished them with love. (Don’t miss Brooke’s gripping post for more on that topic).
But I also want my friends and family to know the truth. I want them to see the hard-working men in the markets, carrying huge burdens for pennies a day. I want them to know the facts about HIV, to know it happens every day to faithful, honest women. I want them to know that Ethiopian mothers’ hearts break when they realize they can no longer care for their precious children.
I realize my understanding of Ethiopia is limited. I don’t know all the whys of the challenges they face. But I have seen the faces of the people working to better themselves. I have shaken their hands, and looked into their eyes, and watched them cry over my children while sending them off to their new lives.
I don’t suppose you can quite call it patriotism, this fierce protective feeling of mine. But it is related, as I am now related to Ethiopia through my children. And because of that connection, I’ll do my best to help my loved ones see the people of Ethiopia, and not just the problems.
Great post! I think it is part of the adoptive parents’ responsibility to learn a good deal about the country they are adopting, for this very reason. Our children are ambassadors but so are we. We should not go into adoption without knowing this is part of the deal. We can respond to these less than intelligent comments by educating. A little knowledge does go a long way. And an overall knowledge of Africa is important too as many Americans lump the whole continent into one. Thanks for your thoughts. This is one we should discuss more.
You’re so right, and that negative stereotype is perpetuated everywhere you go. Our pediatrician actually told me that I would kill my son by taking him to Africa with us. He didn’t even ask where in Africa we’re going, when we’re going or how long we’re planning to stay! All of those affect your chances of getting sick while you’re there, but he assumed that our one-year-old would catch some deadly disease just by entering the continent. Not the sort of ignorance you’d expect from a doc, but it was my first experience in being an “abasssador.” I guess I just didn’t expect it before we brought our child home!
Great post. I think about this, too.
When you have a child adopted from Ethiopia,so much of the exposure Ethiopia gets in the context of your situation is implicitly negative. The fact that they are here and not there in a healthy family makes them unwitting ambassadors for the bad without a word. I can only hope that my daughter’s beautiful smile and spirit provide evidence just as strong for all that is good. And that I’ll do a good job with words to present a healthy, balanced vision to supplement that.