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This is the final part of Connie’s awesome haircare series. Thanks again to Connie for taking the time to write this all up for us!
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The hair should be cut every two weeks to maintain a nice well groomed look. With a little practice, it should only
take 20-30 minutes to do the job. Lining should be done weekly or bi-weekly—a two minute job. The whole process isn’t really that hard. The clippers make the cuts even.When I was first getting started I found some photos of black men, to study as I was working. I also drew marks on
my sons head in washable black marker, so I could gauge where to fade from one length to the other. If your boy is bi-racial or has looser curls, the guards could be useful, but the same principles still apply. After I started this process with my son, I began to get compliments on his hair.Those AA friends who told me to take him to the barber were shocked that I actually did it myself. The second thing that happened was that I began to hear from people in the AA
community, about how they really feel about white people who don’t groom their adopted AA children’s hair appropriately (according to black standards).I didn’t always know what I was doing, but I was always determined that my children’s hair wouldn’t become a stumbling block to their acceptance by others in the AA community, so I am glad I learned early.
Adopted kids have a lot of loss issues anyway. They don’t need to add to that picture, rejection by their peers, on
account of grooming issues. Kids don’t always understand why people are not accepting them, even if they do sort of know, they sometimes they aren’t able to put it into words, or they simply choose not to burden their parents with their every struggle.
I have seen so many variations on how hair is done in the black community. My son’s hair is done like his b-dad’s which is slight length & natural curl. I have seen braids, buzz, med. length curl, occasional fro…so many styles. I had a hard time figuring what was the “acceptable” standard so I styled like his b-dad’s hair.
I just got a confirmation of the “black people judge white people raising black children by their hair” situation at Trader Joes the other day. The checker (black…with the BEST loc’s I have ever seen) said “oh yeah, the first thing black folks do when they see white people raising black kids is check the hair….so keep these kids w/ good hair”.
Thankfully the baby was in the sling (which hides her hair, but makes it look wild and crazy) and my son had a hat on (we are growing his hair out for a halloween costume…not great right now).
THis post has helped a lot. I am going to try it now his hair is longer…I figure if I mess up I can just shave it off….
Thanks for the how-to’s and suggestions…I will have to come back to this whenever we get our boy from Ethiopia. The little guy in this picture is a real cutie….cute stuff.