Overall, I would have to say that our girls are settling in happily and becoming gradually more predictable. I am becoming more familiar with their behavior, and am starting to get a feel for what motivates them and what helps them settle down and what brings a smile to their eyes. But still, the emotions can be all over the place in a single day, and that can be very wearing.

One minute a child will be writing 'I love mom' notes. Ten minutes later the same kid can be stomping off in a huff because I had the audacity to ask her to vacuum the living room. It takes constant on-your-feet thinking and creative problem-solving. And yet I must also still holding a line and be clear about standards of behavior for our family. It is a big job.

Last week my dear hubby noticed I was looking-- shall we say? -- a little frayed around the edges. He called his boss and took a personal day -- and then gave me the day off. I went out to breakfast and visited my sister and went shopping and went to the bookstore. It was lovely. I came back from my day with a fresh perspective and a little more spring to my step.

I am not a mom who takes days off easily. My husband and I get out on a date probably half a dozen times a year, and I almost never spend a day away from the kids on my own. It's just not my style. But when my husband offered me that day last week, I jumped on it. I knew that the new kids were old enough to be okay without me for a day, and I knew I needed a break.

When I got back, I knew it had been a good thing. Good enough that I am thinking I may be doing it a bit more often. I have read in the adoptive parenting literature that it is wise for new moms to take some time away now and then if they need it. But experiencing the difference it made in my outlook has me convinced. I still would be cautious about leaving very young children for long. But especially in the case of an older child who is challenging mom with tough behaviors, a day apart may be just the thing you both need to gain some perspective and appreciate each other a little more.

Related links
Sadness in adopted children
Transition to motherhood