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A few days ago I was talking with my sister and a friend, remembering the adoption process for my 4 year old. Before we decided to go with Ethiopia, we waiting on an African American baby in the US.
First we were offered babies whose birthmoms had extensive scary drug history. Then we had a long time where no birth mom picked our profile. And finally when we did get a birth mom who picked us, she changed her mind AFTER we flew across the country to go adopt the baby.
Eventually we decided that our baby must not be in the US after all. We went with Ethiopia. Our agency required that we be open to a baby up to 12 months in age. But I fantasized about being referred a one month old. I so much wanted a teeny baby again.
When the paperwork came in the mail offering us a 10 month old, I was honestly disappointed. What about my teeny baby fantasies? My husband however was certain this was our girl. I set me reservations aside and we accepted the referral.
And he was right. He could not have been more right. I choked up when I told my friend this part of the story, when I think of missing out on this precious child. I cannot imagine a more perfect child for our family than my dear 4 year old. I shudder to think of the joy I’d have missed if I’d been rigid in my expectations, if I hadn’t listened to my husband’s instincts in the matter.
She’s our girl, plain and simple. God knew it. My husband knew it. I know it now with all my heart. I am so blessed to have not gotten what I hoped for.
Instead I got the perfect child for our family.
It is just so amazing and purposeful and miraculous.
The thing that always inspires me about adoptive parents is that they Don’t Give Up. Thanks for sharing the long road to your child. Lisa
Thats so true…. I totally expected a preschool age boy from the ukraine and we ended up adopting a 16 month olf girl from Russia.
That hits home with me as well. After we lost our girl, we specifically requested the referral of another girl. We were told there was a baby boy available, and almost didn’t find out more about him.
We haven’t even met him in person yet, but we are so in love with our son. I am so glad we didn’t miss out on the blessing of our son!
We’re still SO early in the process, but we have been researching for so long . . . it was good for me to hear about your fantasies and then to hear that you were not disappointed with what God had for you! I wonder if after so long I will be disappointed . . . or if I won’t even recognize who God has for us . . . or that we might never get past this terribly long process of waiting to start the process for real! Thanks (again) for the encouragement!
My husband knew the moment he saw our son the the DVD, funny I wanted the adoption but sure drug my feet with the children God chose for us. I wanted a toddler and our new son is 7, I wanted someone who could blend in, (as much as you can in an international adoption) but our son has an amputated leg. Good thing I followed my husbands lead, God only knows what we would have missed out on!