I find that I am feeling constrained in my blogging lately. I could be sharing the blow-by-blow daily minutia of older-child adjustment, and there are times every day where I begin mentally composing a story. However I am very concerned that as I write I not take away my children’s dignity or their privacy. I certainly would not want everyone and their neighbor to know every time I descend into the pits of unhappiness, (yes, indeed I do at times.)

I fear that if I blogged everything about my girls there might be a time (not too distant from now) when they might get curious about the writing I do, and be embarrassed by what I have disclosed. Somehow it feels different to talk about a 'tantrum' experienced by a two year old vs. a time of unhappiness experienced by an older, more aware child.

And so lately I have been writing more generally than I’d really like to. I hope it has not sucked the life -- or the honesty -- out of my writing. It is a tough balance to find. Of course I need to respect my kids’ privacy. And yet as an advocate for adoption I want to be honest with you, to prepare you for tough times as well as sunshine and roses. I see that as a major mission of this blog, actually-- to help families prepare for the reality of adoptive parenting, with all its ups and downs.

One of the reasons that I read blogs is to get a glimpse of lives of families a bit further along the same path I am walking. I have been so appreciative over the years of other adoptive parents who have written about the tough times as well as the good. Sometimes it scares the liver out of me. Sometimes it makes me pray I don’t face such difficulty. But also it gives me a feel for what is normal behavior for a newly-adopted child.

And so as I write, I will try to maintain a certain transparency. And yet please know that if I leave you hankering for more specifics, it is probably because I have the utmost respect for the challenges my children face as they get adjusted to a whole new world, and I would never want them to feel dishonored by what I write.

Related links
Adding two children at once: what it's like
A day of firsts