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I want to summarize some of the things I think it is important that we do as adoptive parents to help our children thrive.
Acknowledge that our children have experienced loss in their lives
We adoptive parents have gotten such a great gift from the presence of our children in our lives that sometimes we forget that great loss and sadness is also involved. We need to acknowledge that loss so that if and when our children exhibit sadness, we will be able to listen and be prepared to help them deal with those issues.
Acknowledge the importance of our children’s first parents in their lives
Most children will have questions about their first family at some point in their lives. That doesn’t mean we aren’t important in their lives too. We need to be willing to share what we know, demonstrate a willingness to talk about birth family and the challenges of being adopted, while always trying to help our children see the good in the life they do have.
Inform ourselves about attachment issues
Because our children did not come to us at birth, attachment can take time. Whether you’re adopting a baby or an older child, helping them settle in can sometimes be difficult. It is not like super-glue. It is crucial that we arm ourselves with knowledge and a game plan to help them become well attached and feel secure in our love.
Show our children that we value the culture from which they came
Ethiopia is a part of our children, even if they come to America as infants. We need to teach our kids that there is more to Ethiopia than poverty. It is full of beautiful places and interesting people. We need to bring Ethiopian food and music into our lives. We also need to be connecting with families of color in our community. Our children need to spend time with other people who look like them.
Become comfortable with any special grooming issues our children may have
We need to learn all we can about black hair care, and make sure our kids’ hair is done properly. This will help our children feel good about themselves and it will help them –and us– be more easily accepted by African Americans in our community.
Be ready to stand up for our children.
People can be painfully nosey. Preparing some tactful thoughtful answers to frequently-asked questions will give our children tools to handle tough questions themselves, and might just make it a little easier to get through the grocery store too.
Enjoy our children!!
There are many special issue surrounding the adoption of Ethiopian children and it is wise to become educated. But much of adoptive parenting is just like any other parenting, so don’t let all that education scare you away. Adoptive parenting is an amazingly rewarding adventure, and I wish you all the best on your journey.
Thanks again for reading!
Hi, a friend of mine will be bringing home her adopted son (age 3) from Ethiopia any day now. Fellow friends and co-workers would like to have a shower for her, but are unsure of the best way to provide support. Are there things (clothing, toys, etc) that would be needed most that you could recommend? I’m assuming the family will need several weeks to adjust, is four weeks ideal, or will they need longer? Any thoughts and ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Hi – I am a British teacher married to an Ethiopian and we reside in Ethiopia. We have some schools for the poor in Ethiopia ( http://www.englishaliveacademy.org ) and have noticed that some people are having some difficulty with their adoption in relation to transportation / language / feeling secure etc – thus we are considering setting up an organisation which offers a complete service – e.g. collection from the airport / sightseeing / tranportation with car seats / hiring of necessary items eg steriliser / clothes etc / 24 on call in case of health emergencies / basic language lessons etc – however we are on a very limited budget since all our funds are taken with the schools – have you any advice ? – many thanks in advance – Stephanie C Mills
Hi – I am a British teacher married to an Ethiopian and we reside in Ethiopia. We have some schools for the poor in Ethiopia ( http://www.englishaliveacademy.org ) and have noticed that some people are having some difficulty with their adoption in relation to transportation / language / feeling secure etc – thus we are considering setting up an organisation which offers a complete service – e.g. collection from the airport / sightseeing / tranportation with car seats / hiring of necessary items eg steriliser / clothes etc / 24 on call in case of health emergencies / basic language lessons etc – however we are on a very limited budget since all our funds are taken with the schools – have you any advice ? – many thanks in advance – Stephanie C Mills ( have tried to email you but cant get through – my email is stephanddawit@yahoo.co.uk
I am a member of Carolina Hope Christian Adoption Agency, and I wanted to let everyone know about a fundraising event that is taking place in Greenville SC on September 6. The fundraiser is to raise money for an Ethiopian orphanage that was a victim of arson earlier this year. If anyone is interested in attending or helping in anyway through donations please contact me at samanthap@carolinahopeadoption.org or visit our website carolinahopeadoption.org
thank you
New At Blogging… New at Adoption Process…
Hi, I am in desperate need of advice. My husband and I have decided to adopt. After great consideration between fostering to adopt or international adoption, we have begun the process of international adoption. We have spent considerable time throughout Africa and are drawn to Ethiopia’s program. However, being a white-middle class couple, I have this larger conversation going on in my head… Am I contributing to a modern day imperialism? By participating in an Ethiopia adoption, am I saying, west is best? Although we are working with a goodorganization, How do I know the child is an orphan? Am I stealing my child? Can I communicate with the family beyond the initial introductions? Am I taking away from Ethiopia’s chance at building a national adoption program by participating in international adoption? I am having a hard time navigating my privilege and my country’s infamous history of abusive power. I know this all may sound ridiculous to some readers, but I am losing sleep over this and would appreciate any insights from adoptive parents. Thanks
This is a TEST Comment
Salman Khan
http://www.google.com/
Hi, me and my wife adopted two wonderful children from ethiopia we used Children’s hope international and were truly blessed in our entire journey. I am posting on blogs to keep a promise to a young (34) man I guess that is still young anyway his name is Ephrim and he works for the House of Hope in Addis Ababa as a driver and interpreter. He is a good Godly man and he has a great desire to help the children of his country through International adoption if anyone has any ideas to help Ephrim in his endeavor I have his email and I want to post it on as many etiopian blogs as possible, I highly recommend Ephrim’s services he is simply awesome Ephrim’s email is Ephrim Balay ephriminaddis@yahoo.com.au]
Thank you to anyone that can help me with helping Ephrim.
God bless,
James
God bless all that are bringing love and happiness to many children. There no better gift than sharing your home and life with someone from so far away. Keep up the good work.
Mike Endale
http://www.Ezega.com