I want to summarize some of the things I think it is important that we do as adoptive parents to help our children thrive.

Acknowledge that our children have experienced loss in their lives

We adoptive parents have gotten such a great gift from the presence of our children in our lives that sometimes we forget that great loss and sadness is also involved. We need to acknowledge that loss so that if and when our children exhibit sadness, we will be able to listen and be prepared to help them deal with those issues.

Acknowledge the importance of our children’s first parents in their lives

Most children will have questions about their first family at some point in their lives. That doesn't mean we aren't important in their lives too. We need to be willing to share what we know, demonstrate a willingness to talk about birth family and the challenges of being adopted, while always trying to help our children see the good in the life they do have.

Inform ourselves about attachment issues

Because our children did not come to us at birth, attachment can take time. Whether you're adopting a baby or an older child, helping them settle in can sometimes be difficult. It is not like super-glue. It is crucial that we arm ourselves with knowledge and a game plan to help them become well attached and feel secure in our love.

Show our children that we value the culture from which they came

Ethiopia is a part of our children, even if they come to America as infants. We need to teach our kids that there is more to Ethiopia than poverty. It is full of beautiful places and interesting people. We need to bring Ethiopian food and music into our lives. We also need to be connecting with families of color in our community. Our children need to spend time with other people who look like them.

Become comfortable with any special grooming issues our children may have
We need to learn all we can about black hair care, and make sure our kids’ hair is done properly. This will help our children feel good about themselves and it will help them --and us-- be more easily accepted by African Americans in our community.

Be ready to stand up for our children.

People can be painfully nosey. Preparing some tactful thoughtful answers to frequently-asked questions will give our children tools to handle tough questions themselves, and might just make it a little easier to get through the grocery store too.


Enjoy our children!!

There are many special issue surrounding the adoption of Ethiopian children and it is wise to become educated. But much of adoptive parenting is just like any other parenting, so don’t let all that education scare you away. Adoptive parenting is an amazingly rewarding adventure, and I wish you all the best on your journey.

Thanks again for reading!