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When parents think of adopting older kids, they often feel sad at the realization that they will miss so much of the child’s life. They won’t get to see their first steps or hear their first words. However, I’ve discovered that ‘firsts’ are actually some of the neatest things about adopting older kids.
Yesterday we went to the fair with our whole crew, and our new girls had a day full of firsts. Of course there was the food. Blooming onions were a hit with the younger girl, but not the older. Both girls loved the snow cones. And once they got over the initial strangeness of cotton candy, they both loved that too.
We spent quite awhile in the small animal display, checking out chickens and guinea pigs and watching baby chicks hatch. I don’t think they’d ever seen a guinea pig before, but said they’d seen chickens of every type while living in Harar.
They were interested in the various ribbons and awards that various things got. When we discovered award-winning scarves displayed in the youth craft section that were not any nicer than the ones that our girls had made in Ethiopia, we made a note that the girls might like to submit some of their own next year.
At one point the 11 year old surreptitiously pointed something out to me that I didn’t immediately spot. Finally I realized that she was pointing at an extremely large woman– probably somewhere in the 400 pound range. The sight was so normal to me that I’d had a hard time identifying what she was pointing out, but she’d never seen a person that large in her life.
The amusement park rides were high on their list of bests for the day. Both girls have an adventurous streak, I think. They rode the swings– twice. They saw the sights from atop the tallest Ferris wheel. They even rode a roller coaster– all with huge grins on their faces that were matched by the grins on our own as we watched them.
We may have missed out on some of the firsts in their lives. But there are many still to come. We are so much looking forward to looking at life through their eyes as they experience these first along with us.
Also of interest:
First Days Home
Building Attachment
Majoring in the majors
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You really put things into perspective, Mary. Great blog!
fabulous! what a great perspective.
I too have enjoyed the “firsts” our 5 and 7 yr olds have experienced with us these past 6 months! First excalator, elevator especially the see through one at the mall!, first drink at a water fountain (hilarious!) first swimming pool, popsicles, fireworks,etc. I am having a ball watching these girls experience all that America has to offer! My dear Sara is having her first “happy birthday” as she calls it today. Thanks for eloquently sharing your journey with adopting your beautiful older girls!
Brilliant. I am sooo looking forward to the firsts with my older little one! lol
Thanks for sharing. It’s amazing what we learn when we look through someone else’s eyes.
Hi Mary,
While I’ve also missed some of the “little kid” firsts with my daughter, adopted at age 4.10, there have been all kinds of other firsts. It seemed to me, when we got back from China, that the whole first year was full of “firsts” as we went through the seasons and holidays. It was only after she’d been here a full year that thins stopped seeming so “new” and we were able to start saying things like “do you remember last year when…?” And actually, that’s another benefit of adopting older kids – they can remember more and talk to you about it!
Roma