One of the things that has been slightly easier about adopting older kids vs. younger ones is the fact that I feel a little bit more free to leave the new arrivals at home with other family members while I run an errand or even go out on a date with my husband. OK, we have only gone on three dates since the girls came home in August, but still-- I am sure that is three more dates than we had during our other adoptied children's first months home.

I tend to be very cautious about leaving infants and toddlers in the crucial early months when we are establishing a good attachment. Our society values 'me' time. But if a couple hours away causes my newly arrived child to regress and act insecure for days afterwards, I don't thing it is truly worth it.

Yes, dates are great. But I do not believe they are essential to a happy marriage. It is far better in my opinion to show our spouse our love on a regular basis, in whatever way he or she finds most meaningful. Have a heart ot heart chat late at night. Plan a candlelit dinner on the patio after your child is in bed. Talk in the morning over coffee while Baby Einstein plays. Text-message or phone each other once or twice during the day-- to say hi, not to complain about the kids. Kiss long and passionately on homecoming -- and when the kids groan in disgust, kiss again just for good measure.

Sure, dates are delightful-- especially if you can pull them off without causing terror and regression to your baby. But there is nothing particularly magical about a 'date', despite what popular culture tells us. With a little thought you can nurture your relationship in dozens of other, equally effective ways.

(Photo Credit: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/332981)