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Looking back through my archives, I was shocked to discover I haven’t once covered the naming issue. Could this really be true? This is a hot topic among families.
There are several ways to handle the issue of naming a child born in another country. Some folks opt to totally rename the child and not keep any part of the name from the child’s country of origin. Some choose to keep their child’s entire Ethiopian name and just add the new family’s name onto the end. This is most commonly done with an older child who is already very used to be called a particular name.
Others choose the middle road and keep part of the child’s Ethiopian name, either as the first or middle name. Still others I know choose an entirely different Ethiopian name as the child’s first name, as a way of honoring the child’s coutry of origin while still choosing the name themselves.
Folks have many concerns about keeping their child’s Ethiopian name. Often it is something unfamiliar to most in the US. Sometimes the name is hard to spell or pronounce. Parents worry that a child might be teased in school about an unusual sounding name, or that the child will get tired of spelling their name all the time.
Another is the issue of claiming. Parents want the pleasure of picking a name for a child, just like they might do with a biological child. Not being able to do so feels like yet another loss, which is a huge issue, especially when infertility has already dealt major loss.
Some families decide not to use the Ethiopian name after they learn that the child’s name was given by an orphanage worker, and not a parent. So they feel that the name has less significance. I have strong feelings about this issue. Tomorrow I’ll share them, along with some stories about my children’s names.
I was just wondering about this today and taa daa you write this post! I have noticed that many children that have been adopted from Ethiopia have a first name that reflects their culture. It seems this is not as common among adoptee’s from other countries. My curiosity has been piqued and I am looking forward to hearing more…
Looking forward to your post. As you know we ended up keeping our boys’ names. I am so happy we did!
I also have strong feelings on this issue!
We kept both our girls’ first names and have given nicknames that are shortened versions. I hated to take even their names from them after they had experienced such loss.
What are you going to discuss next, circumcision? It’s your blog; do as you will, but I’m staying out of this as everyone seems to have an opinion and the ones with the strongest opinion always seem to think they have the right one.
That being said, this post was exceptionally well written in its neutral tone. Good luck tomorrow.
I have one daughter from Ethiopia, adopted at age 11. She came to us after her first adoption disrupted, so we did not participate in what to name her when she came to America. The family kept her birth name, with a slight spelling variation. I know she is glad to have her birth name, so I’m really glad they chose that for her!
I do have strong feelings about naming children. My children all come as much older children, so I know that affects my decisions. All things being equal, I can always offer an opinion on what I think is “right”. The thing is, all things are NOT equal. I’ve got kids that I’ve named exactly the opposite from the method I think is “right”.
Each child and each situation is different – so should probably be named accordingly. I’ve got 27 children – each with a name just right for him/her.
This is a hot topic. We debated on what to do so here is what worked for us. Our son’s Ethiopian name was always being slaughtered when we first got our referal. We found out how important meaning is in the Ethiopian culture, so we gave him a first name which means “God protects” and is English in origin and kept his Ethiopian name which means “he who was spared” as his middle name. I know that other people may disagree with our way of thinking, but to each his/her own. This is what worked for our family.
When we traveled, so many Ethiopians expressed to us how happy they were that we are keeping our baby’s name. The story behind his name is really incredible, too. We use a shortened version of his middle-name as a nickname, but as his story has spread and as people have heard us using his Ethiopian name, I’ve noticed others using it as well. Its very beautiful, and I hope he takes pride in it as he grows.