Comments on: Loss and Fear of Abandonment http://ethiopia.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/loss-and-fear-of-abandonment Ethiopia adoption news, information and firsthand accounts by those who have been there. Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:04:36 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Lisa http://ethiopia.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/loss-and-fear-of-abandonment/comment-page-1#comment-1191 Lisa Sun, 06 Jan 2008 22:55:41 +0000 http://ethiopia-ado.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/12/15/loss-and-fear-of-abandonment#comment-1191 I think it will be a looong time before I'll be able to leave Ella overnight (all theoretical because I have no one nearby to leave her with). Home since she was 7 months, she still doesn't like me going anywhere. Lisa S. I think it will be a looong time before I’ll be able to leave Ella overnight (all theoretical because I have no one nearby to leave her with). Home since she was 7 months, she still doesn’t like me going anywhere.
Lisa S.

]]> By: John http://ethiopia.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/loss-and-fear-of-abandonment/comment-page-1#comment-1190 John Sat, 05 Jan 2008 20:34:35 +0000 http://ethiopia-ado.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/12/15/loss-and-fear-of-abandonment#comment-1190 My youngest two, 18 and 20 got the detailed briefing before I left to visit my mother in WI. The itinerery was posted on the fridge, and the cell always on. They both became uncomfortable while I was gone, even though I had an adult who checked in with them several times a day. the youngest said "Dad, I need you back home". I was gone a total of 72 hours. Both have worked through attachment issues, the youngest is dealing with RAD. I think it is the attachment stuff that makes separation so grim, and where they came from isn't such a big player. Progress happens, just not fast. John My youngest two, 18 and 20 got the detailed briefing before I left to visit my mother in WI. The itinerery was posted on the fridge, and the cell always on. They both became uncomfortable while I was gone, even though I had an adult who checked in with them several times a day. the youngest said “Dad, I need you back home”. I was gone a total of 72 hours. Both have worked through attachment issues, the youngest is dealing with RAD. I think it is the attachment stuff that makes separation so grim, and where they came from isn’t such a big player. Progress happens, just not fast. John

]]> By: doula-doula http://ethiopia.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/loss-and-fear-of-abandonment/comment-page-1#comment-1189 doula-doula Sat, 05 Jan 2008 18:03:51 +0000 http://ethiopia-ado.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/12/15/loss-and-fear-of-abandonment#comment-1189 That's well-said. My three year old, home well over two years, still has to go through a ritual about me coming back every time we part.There's a different dynamic to it than I've ever had with my other, biological children. She's secure and well-attached now but, even if she's casual and playful about the ritual, I can see in her eyes that it's STILL meaningful to her. -Marian That’s well-said. My three year old, home well over two years, still has to go through a ritual about me coming back every time we part.There’s a different dynamic to it than I’ve ever had with my other, biological children. She’s secure and well-attached now but, even if she’s casual and playful about the ritual, I can see in her eyes that it’s STILL meaningful to her.

-Marian

]]>