Interview with John Bul Dau: New Immigrants

The other day I blogged about the book God Grew Tired of Us, a story written by one of the Lost Boys of Sudan. Soon after that I was pleased to get an e-mail from an adoptive dad I know through my adoption agency, and who happens to work with John Dau. He said that John would be glad to talk with me if I was interested. I jumped on the chance.

We had a nice chat on the phone the other day, and now I have a two part interview to share with you. In the first portion of the interview, John talks about some of the challenges that new immigrants from Africa face. In the second part (coming tomorrow) he talks about some exciting work he is doing to benefit the people of Africa.

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Owlhaven: I read your book from the perspective of a mom who is preparing to bring home older children from Africa. The story of your friend who hid from the airplane was very striking to me, because it reminded me just how scared my girls might be to come to America.

John Bul Dau: (laughs) Yes, that was actually my uncle who did that.

Owlhaven: What about coming to America was hardest for you?

John Bul Dau: It was hard to come. Even though they told us how it would be, we thought it would be something different. One of the hardest things for us was the loneliness. In Africa, there are always people together. In America, you’re more alone. You have to solve your own problems.

Owlhaven: In the book you mentioned your first time in an American grocery store.

John Bul Dau: It was overwhelming. Too many choices. Too many things. That really was one of the hardest things– all the choices. When we first came to America, people would take us to church. Then they would invite us to dinner after church and they’d say, “What would you like to drink?”

We’d say, “A Coke.”

Then they’d say, “Do you want Sprite or Coke or Dr. Pepper or …?” It was too many choices.

In America you come home and say “What are we going to have for dinner?”

Not in Sudan. Your mother or your wife cooks what she has. There’s no choice, no saying, “I don’t feel like eating that, give me something else.” You eat what is there.

Owlhaven: So it sounds like maybe when my daughters get home, it might be less stressful for them if I limited their choices for awhile, to keep them from being overwhelmed?

John Bul Dau: Yes. Choices were very hard for us. The food will be strange for them at first, too. American food was too salty and too sweet. It didn’t taste right. It didn’t smell right.

Another thing was the custom of giving gifts at Christmas time. I visited my [then] wife-to-be Martha in Seattle. She was sponsored by an American family, and at Christmas time everyone made lists of what they wanted. I said, “What is this? Why do people tell others what to give them?”

My wife explained it to me. But I still think it is wrong for a person to tell someone what gift he wants to receive. At Christ’s birthday did Joseph and Mary tell the Wise Men what to bring? No, the Wise Men brought what was valuable to them.
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In the next portion of the interview, Dau talks about a project that is important to him.

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