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I’ve done a lot of thinking lately about kids who end up being adopted by a family in another country even though they have living relatives still in Ethiopia. Sometimes adoptive families feel so uncomfortable about that idea that they tell their agency that they want to adopt only ‘true’ orphans, kids who have no living family at all. That is certainly a legitimate choice, and I totally understand the feelings that lead families to make that choice.
However, I think that sometimes families do not fully understand how alone a child can be in the world even while in the care of a member of their extended family. Certainly there are uncles and grandparents who do a good job taking care of children. However in many Africa countries, life is lived so hand-to-mouth that there simply aren’t enough resources to provide for a niece or a nephew along with the person’s birth children. If there’s only enough money to buy food for 3 kids, suddenly being saddled with your sister’s two kids can feel like an overwhelming burden. Kids are sometimes sent out onto the streets to beg, or are treated like servants in the household.
It would be awesome if there were social resources that would fill the gap in the case of a family who would do a good job if they simply had another $25 per month of income. However, in many cases, a child is dumped into a family situation where even time and love are in short supply. Certainly there are cases where kids could remain in family with the right support, and I whole heartedly support efforts to get families that support.
But just the presence of living family does not guarantee a good family situation for a child. I believe that families in Ethiopia should have the freedom to decide whether or not they feel capable of providing for another child. This is a right we freely give a single expectant mom in the U.S. Why not allow an uncle in Ethiopia who is already supporting 5 family members make that same choice when he is suddenly confronted with two more needy children?
For more discussion on this important topic, don’t miss this post of Anita’s.
Great post Mary. You hit the nail right on the head with this info. I’ve read enough to agree with you and see all sides to this. It is their decision to decide and now that I know what family really means to Ethiopians, I believe them when they make that decision.
Lisa
http://www.my2ethiopiangirls.blogspot.com
Hi Mary. I really enjoyed reading this post as it’s something I think about all the time. And thanks for the link to Anita’s blog. I have linked to you both on my blog, http://forneko.blogspot.com/2008/01/living-relatives.html