One of the things I want to do with each of our adopted children is to take them on a homeland visit to see the country where they were born. We are hoping that we'll be able to do this when our kids are between the ages of 10 and 13 or so. Our Korean boys both turn nine this spring, and I've been thinking that maybe 2008 or 2009 would work for a trip back to see Korea.

How Old Should Kids Be?

Adoptive Families magazine had an excellent article on homeland visits recently and here is what they said.

There is no “right” age for children to go on a homeland journey—each age brings different benefits. Consider your child’s maturity level and his ease with talking about adoption before making your decision.

Experts recommend taking a child on her first birth country trip some time between the ages of six and 12, if family finances permit it. In this age range, children are still enthusiastic about traveling with their parents and are open to the new experiences they will encounter. Making friends is easier, and parents still wield some influence over children’s perceptions.

The earlier you go, the sooner you can instill in your child a positive view of his birth country. Dr. Jane Lietdke, of Our Chinese Daughters Foundation, explains that a child who feels good about the place he comes from also feels good about himself—a valuable asset to take into adolescence.

Older children will grasp geographic, political, and sociological concepts that are over younger children’s heads. They also possess the vocabulary to communicate with their parents and can independently work through some of the emotions generated by the trip.

What Do Kids Gain?

Kids who see their birth country gain a better understanding of the differences in the ways people live around the world. Kids may have wondered why their birth family had to relinqish them. Seeing the poverty in Ethiopia may make it easier to understand some of those reasons.

But it's not only the poverty that is eye-opening. One of my indelible memories of Ethiopia is the kindness of the people. It's great for kids to meet a few people and have memories of their kindness to bring back home.

Homeland trips can also boost self-esteem. Especially if you live in an area of little racial diversity, it can be a powerful thing for kids to experience being in the ethnic majority for a change. Some adopted kids, especially girls, can see themselves as less beautiful than the predominant culture in which they usually live, and it can be a real revelation to be confronted by the beautiful people who are similar to them in coloring.

What If The Trip Is Too Expensive?
It can be expensive to travel internationally, however. Adoptive Families magazine offered some interesting Domestic Options to a homeland tour-- ways to make the most of existing enclaves of your child's birth heritage right here in the US. While I also hope that we can bring each of our Ethiopian girls back to Ethiopia when they are older, sometime when we visit the Seattle area we may also take advantage of what Seattle has to offer in the way of Ethiopian restaurants and stores.

To read the complete Adoptive Families story about homeland tours, visit Wherever You Go, There You Are. And I'd love to hear from experienced families who have brought their children on homeland tours. What was your experience like?