Comments on: Grieving your past life

By: grimes_family

grimes_family — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 20:39:21 +0000

i have experienced this with the births of both my daughters and i fully expect it post-adoption. sometimes just not being surprised by your feelings is all you need to work through them! i know i don’t love upheaval, so i can prepare myself for feeling “icky” during the biggest part of the change. thanks for the great post.

By: Sunbonnet Sue

Sunbonnet Sue — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 18:41:19 +0000

oh Jennifer, now you’ve got me laughing. you means everyone does not live in KS?

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 18:26:12 +0000

Sunbonnet – I live in Germany – my kids were already in bed when I posted! But somedays, the day does feel long by noon…..

By: multi-taskingmom

multi-taskingmom — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 08:52:37 +0000

I like to refer to it as “getting back to our New normal”. Pretty soon – could be days, weeks or months. The “old” life will fade, and right here, right now will feel like it’s always been – that’s when I know we’ve reached our new normal.

By: RachelMac

RachelMac — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 05:37:45 +0000

Thanks, Mary. I just very recently came out of the valley of doubt and depression. It’s always nice to hear that others (even veterans!!) have been there and come out stronger and better and more in love with their little ones.

By: Nancy Spoolstra

Nancy Spoolstra — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 04:26:37 +0000

Right there with you all. My new little darlin’ is really pulling out all the stops, and I didn’t actually even go looking for another placement … she found me. So I’m adjusting to this happening fast, adjusting to the impact it is having on previously “only” daughter whose life was easy, and going back into therapeutic parenting in a big way but as a tired, aged mom. So Mary, this post was excellent! Thanks!

By: John

John — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:52:49 +0000

I have had a downer after a new son comes home. Its a combination of longing for the simpler life of the family just before placement, and the stress of living with a new and somewhat unknown child and wanting so badly for everything to go right.

We have a family tradition, before I start the trip to bring home a new child, all of us have a really nice dinner at a fancy resturant. We are saying goodbye to the family that has existed and hello to a new and different family. It seems to help all of us. John

By: Sunbonnet Sue

Sunbonnet Sue — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 20:58:32 +0000

Jennifer, it’s only just past noon! maybe a nap?

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:35:52 +0000

*sorry* I meant to write “when my kids CAME home.” It’s been a long day.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:33:34 +0000

Great post – wish I had read it three months ago when my kids felt home, and I felt like a horrible person for feeling like maybe I hadn’t done the right thing for our family. Happily, I have since changed my mind!