Listen in long enough on the conversation of any group of new moms, and eventually the talk will turn to sleep. Who's getting it, who isn't, and how to get more of it. Opinions about settling babies to sleep will fly, with the lucky moms of 'sleepers' almost certain to expound upon THE way to get babies to sleep.

In my experience, there is not one right way to get a baby to sleep. Babies have different levels of tolerance and so do parents. Potentially lots of different ways could work.

However when you are talking about an adopted baby, I think that there is a narrower range of 'good' ways to handle getting a baby to sleep, especially in the first 6 months home. This is because bonding is THE first priority of importance of a newly arrived child. A baby will bond and learn to trust best if you are responsive to his needs, and unfortunately those needs do neatly go away at 8 pm.

Most babies who are moved will have disturbed sleep for weeks or even months after homecoming. It can get exhausting. But the more often you can be the solution to his unhappiness ('make it all better'), the stronger the attachment will be.

When your baby wakens at night, hold him, lie next to him, or pat his back. Keep it low-key, dark, and quiet. Some parents (including me) bring babies into bed with them to get better sleep. Others use a mattress on the floor of the baby's room as a cozy place for parent and child to sleep on restless nights.

In the wee hours you may wonder if responding really is the right thing, but remember to think of your child as newly born to your family. For now, he needs to have those nighttime needs met. Focus on developing and deepening your child’s attachment over the first 6 months, then try the sleep training that seems right for your family.

I will tak tomorrow about some of the popular sleep training methods and which options work well for newly adopted infants.