The majority of families who adopt from Ethiopia go into it knowing that they want to adopt a baby. But as families get to know other adoptive families, either in person or via internet support groups, many people come in contact with families who have adopted sibling groups. Some families know without a doubt that they aren't up for that particular adventure. But a certain number of people wonder: do we have what it takes to adopt a sibling group?

The answer to that question is very personal, of course. When deciding whether or not a sibling group is right for you, keep in mind that two or more children may rock your family boat harder and longer than one child will. Depending on the age of the child, there will be more night wakenings and more tantrums. Also remember that a newly arrived child will most likely regress-- that eight year old you're expecting may behave more like a five year old for awhile, especially in times of stress.

Almost all newly arrived children have times of unhappiness and moodiness in those early days. If you are dealing with several kids, you will also be dealing with several different cycles of mood swings. Picture a swing-set with multiple children swinging at once; it can get tiring. I personally am glad that we 'only' adopted two this time around-- I can only imagine how it might be to have 3 or 4 new kids all at once.

However, that doesn't mean a large sibling group wouldn't work for some families. I know of a mom who adopted a sibling group of five -- as her very first foray into parenting, no less. She is loving it, and her whole family is thriving.

And there are some really great benefits to adopting siblings. My girls are a great source of support to each other, and they often help each other with communication. What one doesn't understand, the other often does. It is a huge blessing that they have each other to share memories with, and to speak to in Amharic. And I can only imagine that our family must feel more like THEIR family because it also includes someone who shares their past.

If you are considering adopting a sibling group, you would be wise to steel yourself for some challenge that first year home. If you can, take some time off work or set up some flexible work schedules for yourself and your spouse. Talk to extended family about possibly helping out in the early months.

Think about your negotiable and your unshakable family rules. New kids are sure to test the rules. If you've decided ahead of time what is most important, it will be easier for you to know when a rule is worth enforcing and when it can be let go. A sibling group is definitely a big job, but worth doing, especially if you have some resources to help you through that first year.

Also of interest
Homecoming: the first 6 months