Karen over at the Adoption Search Blog has written an excellent post titled: Twenty Things I Wish Adoptive Parents Knew.

Sometimes we adoptive parents are so enraptured by the 'miracle' of adoption as we see it that we don't even think about the tremendous loss it is to the child. Or maybe we would just rather not think about it. But for the emotional well being of our children we need to be willing to face the fact: not being able to grow up with your birth family is a tremendous loss.

The fact that birth family was poverty stricken or ill or abusive does NOT negate the loss. It is still a loss. We adoptive parents would do well to face the loss squarely. Then we can be courageous enough to give our children opportunity to speak about and acknowlege the loss themselves, and get the support from us that they need to move on and flourish in our families.

Thanks, Karen, for writing about this.