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The day we decorated our Christmas tree, our girls were rather sober. They shared memories of the way their Ethiopian mom had loved to decorate for Christmas. The preparation for this Christmas had obviously stirred up sadness over their past, and it took them a few hours to get back on an even keel.
It is not only older kids who find holidays difficult. All ages of newly arrived kids may become stressed by the hustle and bustle. Even newly arrived babies may feel overwhelmed by the breaks in routine that happen with additional activities. The many strange faces and strange arms reaching out to little ones can be terrifying to a child.
You would be wise to think ahead how you will handle the issue of strangers wanting to hold your child. And remember, anyone your CHILD doesn’t know is a stranger, even your great aunt Mildred. I would strongly encourage you to keep your child right with you in new situations. A great way to do this with a baby is to carry him in a baby carrier at gatherings.
You would also be wise to think about scaling back your holiday a little. Think about your most meaningful family traditions, and let some of the other stuff go. Think about ways you could make the holiday a little more home-based and a little less stressful than usual. For example, maybe you’d never want to skip Christmas Day church and your personal gift-opening time. But you’d be okay with only going to grandma’s for an hour for dessert.
Are there ways you can make your preparations easier? Save the Christmas baking marathon til next year. Send a New Years letter instead of a Chrisatmas letter. Use gift bags instead of wrapping paper. Think of what will give you more time on the floor playing with your precious new arrival.
Future holidays may still bring back some sad memories, especially in the case of older children. But the first Christmas is likely to be the most challenging. It makes sense to slow things down and give your child a little time to get settled into your family.
I would love to hear how they celebrated Christmas in Ethiopia.