When you bring home a baby past the newborn age, some things are the same as if you've brought home a newborn and some are different. A newborn will most likely attach easily to a loving mom. An 8 month old who has been cared for by several different caregivers might attach effortlessly. Or he might take some months to become well attached.

But there are definitely things you can do that help a baby attach more quickly. In a future post I will also discuss some ways to tell if attachment is going well.

Five Tools to Help Your Baby Attach

1. When you bring your baby home, hold her and carry her as much as you possibly can. We Americans have access to so many baby-holding gadgets that we sometimes forget just how important it is for a baby to have lots of quality time IN mom's arms. Get a good baby carrier and plan to wear your baby at least a couple hours each day.

2. Second, spend lots of floor time with your baby. Make eye contact. Play peekaboo. Build block towers, then laugh and clap when she knocks them down. Be playful and fun. Playtime is bonding time. (This applies to older kids too!)

3. Respond to her nighttime needs, especially in the first 3 months. it is fine to sleep with your baby if that works for you both. Once your child is well attached you can work on sleep training. At the beginning it is most important for your child to learn that you are there for her. Later you can work on sleep training as it is needed.

4. You be the giver of bottles and goodies, especially in the first 3 months. Feeding time is bonding time, so don't give away that precious time to others.

5. Remember the soothing power of rocking. Rock in the rocking chair, give your baby rides on your lap in a swing, or just jiggle her around the room as a game. Rocking is good for your child's balance and eyesight, and it is also a very soothing activity for most children.


Any baby can benefit from these activities. But an adopted baby will especially benefit from these types of things, as they will help him or her catch up on the precious time you missed as you waited to be united. Remember, spoiling is something that happens to fruit that is ignored, not babies who are well loved. So love on that new kiddo of yours. That's just what he needs.


Related links

Adoptive breastfeeding
Getting babies to sleep