Over New Years John and I did something we hadn't done in years. We went away overnight, without any kids. My mom graciously agreed to have all ten of our kids over to her house for a New Years sleepover. And John and I took off. We went shopping and out to eat and in honor of the new year we even went dancing. There are more details here, if you are interested. But for now let me just say that it was wonderful, every bit of it.

Nevermind that it almost took a crowbar to pry ourselves away from the younger kids as we walked out the door. Nevermind that a large majority of our conversation during those two days centered around our children. Nevermind that at least 3 times in those two days realized we missed the kids. It was still wonderfully restorative to be able to converse without interruption, to look into each others eyes, and to have only ourselves to take care of just for a little while.

Parenting is not an easy task. I personally think it is the biggest guilt trip ever invented. There is always something to feel guilty about, some situation you wish you'd handled with more wisdom, with more patience, more understanding, or more backbone.

When John and I get talking late in the evening, we'll sometimes get on a negative track, kicking ourselves for not handling things perfectly during the day. When one of us hears the other person getting too self-incriminating, we'll often say, "It must be bedtime." Certainly it is good to want to improve your own performance as a parent. But exhaustion can set in and leave your perspective skewed.

That is why I think it is so important for parents to take breaks from time to time -- renew your perspective, refill your own emotional tank, and reconnect with your partner. Sometimes it is possible to sneak in a real overnight get-away. Other times the 'get-away' may need to consist of a cup of coffee before kids get up, a couple hours away courtesy of a local teenager, or a few minutes after your kids have gone to bed at night.

However you have to sneak it it, do it. You'll return with more stamina, a renewed sense of humor, and an improved ability to cope with the demands of parenthood.

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Photo credit: Mary Owlhaven