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Yesterday I brought my 7 year old Korean son to the eye doctor. He’s learning to read, and is getting better at it. But it’s not easy for him, and the way he twists his head and squints at the page made me wonder if vision issues were making school more challenging than it should be.
So in we went to investigate. It was obvious from the first moments that my guess had been right. The optometrist had to make those letters darned big before my kiddo could read them easily.
The exam seemed to take quite awhile– the doctor pronounced his eyes ‘challenging’. As I waited, I remembered something I’d read about babies from orphanages. The gist of it was that kids who are not held in the first months of life can have trouble with focusing their eyes later in life: something about being face to face with the caregiver helps teach babies eye-focus.
(I’ve searched high and low on the internet for this study– if you know where to locate the info, let me know.)
Anyway, while remembering that, and watching my son struggling to do what the doctor asked him to do, I felt suddenly flooded by emotion. You see, my son spent the first 7 months of his life in an orphanage. I felt angry and sad to think that those early months lacking a mom might be adding to his challenge today.
I’m like any mom. I want my kids to have every advantage. It’s tough to face the fact that sometimes before our kids even come to us, they have already missed out on really important stuff–stuff that makes a difference. Sometimes it can be fixed or made up later on. Sometimes it can’t.
Of course I don’t know how much my son’s early days affected his eyes. I asked the doctor about it, sharing the theory I’d read about orphanage kids and eye-focusing issues. He didn’t seem familiar with it, but didn’t discount the possiblity— my son does have focusing issues, he said.
My son, it turns out, is also far-sighted and has astigmatism. Astigmatism makes it harder to focus at any distance– so that would explain the focusing issues right there. And because of the astigmatism, he’s actually going to need bifocals. Thankfully we were able to order him line-free bifocals, which are easier for the eyes to get used to.
The doctor is optimistic that the glasses will help my son. We go back in 6 months for a re-check. I’m hoping we’re on the right track. He’s a great kid, and I want so much for him to not just endure reading, but to actually enjoy it. Hopefully these glasses are just the ticket to help him out.
Adoption issues: sometimes they catch you when you aren’t expecting them.
I also had an astigmatism. Mine was so bad that I couldn’t read the menu at a fast food restaurant. I started wearing glasses at age five. What I hated about my eye appointments was that the doctor used to tell me to open my eyes wider. I’m Korean. My eyes just don’t open that wide.
Mo
That makes sense about the eyes not learning to focus. It is amazing how crucial a baby’s first months are…on the one hand makes me so sad for my sons, but on the other hand, I realize when I look at the huge strides they’re making and what great boys they are, I think wow, God has had His hand on them all along, even when I couldn’t be there!
My daughter was also in an orphanage for almost her whole first year. She has astigmatism and is long sighted. The eye doctor told me infact that the astigmatism was quite bad.
I asked if it could be related to being left on her back for month after month. He said no it was genetic (although her sister has perfect vision). I have always thought it might be related to the early neglect.
I would also love to find that article. My daughter has been wearing glasses since she was 2.5 and is now 5.5 – they make a huge difference and she looks great in them.