The other day I had a dramatic reminder of how emotion can cloud understanding. It was the end of a long day. Propelling the children through their school day had been exhausting. I'd spent the afternoon canning, then had to run to the store at dinnertime for more canning supplies, along with some deli chicken for dinner since I was too tired to cook. When we'd washed sheets that day, I realized our new girls would need another blanket each on their beds soon. At WalMart I grabbed a couple of soft cotton ones along with the canning rings and chicken. I thought the girls would like these new ones better than the old army-green ones in the closet. At home I handed the girls... more

One of my sons came home at the age of 20 months when his 'big' brother was only 23 months of age. The 23 month old had never gotten reliable about sleeping all night. The newest arrival woke crying in terror several times a night due to the huge change in his life. AND they slept in the same room, so they would sometimes wake each other.

I was pretty tired for awhile. I put a mattress on the floor of their room, so that when either boy woke, I just went in and laid down with them. The better-settled, older child would go back to sleep right away, but the younger one often needed me to pat his back for a few minutes to settle back down. I know that some folks just turn on the... more

I've served both spaghetti and salad a few times since the girls got home, but they did not seem especially happy with either time. I didn't make a big deal about it (see my food policy), but I wondered how I could tweak the recipes to be a little more familiar to the girls.

As it turns out, the girls clued me in on both issues. The other day we were out shopping and our girls spotted a bag of tiny key limes. "Like Ethiopia!" they exclaimed. They went on to explain that in Ethiopia, along with often eating the limes whole, dipped in salt or sugar, they also made a kind of salad that is drizzled... more

If you’ve read a few books about adoption, you may have heard of the phenomenon called the honeymoon. The term refers to the time right after a your child comes home, when things are going so smoothly that you feel practically euphoric. Finally you have your child in your arms. The waiting is done. Now you can get on with your life.

The child's behavior contributes greatly to the feeling of honeymoon also. Often a newly arrived older child will have a time on his best behavior. Whatever mom and dad say is fine. The new toys are great. Siblings are wonderful. He even may eat food in the first days that you later learn he dislikes-- all in an effort to be endearing to you.

The... more

One of the things that people really like to be able to do from Ethiopia is to e-mail family and friends and tell them how things are going in-country. However, the vast majority of Addis has only dial-up. This can make even a short note from Addis take a ridiculously long time to send. And if you are trying to send pictures, you'll most likely really be frustrated.

However, there are a few tricks that make internet use a little less painful in Ethiopia. First of all, before you go to Ethiopia, set up a Yahoo email account for whomever is traveling. Other travelers to Ethiopia have reported that yahoo had been the most reliable email.

Make sure that you know your password,... more

I have been telling you about some of the noteworthy Ethiopians who are doing interesting things with their lives. In the news today there was a story about Ethiopian distance runner Haile Gebrselassie. Today he ran in the Berlin Marathon. Not only did he win, he shattered the world marathon record by running the race in two hours four minutes 26 seconds. This was 29 seconds faster than a record set by Paul Tergat from Kenya on the same course in 2003.

Tergat and Gebrselassie are long-time... more

One ingredient you will find mentioned in many recipes for authentic Ethiopian food is niter kibbeh, or clarified spiced butter. In general, niter kibbeh as part of the fat in meat dishes, and oil is used in vegetarian dishes. (Yes, Ethiopian dishes all seem to require a lot of fat!)

Since I have not gotten into the habit of keeping niter kibbeh on hand, I usually use oil along with a tablespoon or two of butter in most of my meat dishes. But here is a recipe that I used last time I got inspired to make actual niter kibbeh. This recipe will keep for months in the refrigerator, covered.

INGREDIENTS - 1 lb. butter, cut into pieces - 2 cloves... more

When you're at the beginning of the adoption process, one of the things that can weigh heavy on your mind is the homestudy. What will it be like to have a social worker come inspect your house? What kinds of things will he or she be looking for? What if she says your house isn't big enough? And just how clean does it have to be, anyway?

With our first homestudy I cleaned like a maniac: in closets, under beds, in the fridge, everywhere. I even scrubbed the grout in the master bathroom with bleach and a toothbrush. It was out of control.

Lots of other families have anxiety... more

I think every parent waiting for a child to arrive has moments when they wonder if they are truly up to the task of bringing a new child into the family. Will the child settle in well? Will you get to sleep all night ever again? How will you keep up with the things that need to be done, when chances are you feel like you are barely keeping up with them now?

In the process of bringing home ten children, four via birth and six via adoption, here are some of my best tips for simplifying those first few months of adjustment time after your child comes home.

1. Lower your standards, at least when it comes to housekeeping. Decide on which top 3 tasks you will try to keep... more

I saw the Four Things meme over on a friend's blog and thought that it might be fun to remake the meme a bit so that it would apply to adoption. If you feel like answering these questions on your blog, let me know in the comments section, below. Or give your own answers right in my comments, if you'd like.

Four things I thought about adoption when I was a child -- I imagined it might be cool to be adopted by someone really rich (you know, in those moments when my mom wouldn't spring for those Calvins I had my eye on) -- I imagined what I'd do if someone left a baby on my doorstep... more