One of the things that has been slightly easier about adopting older kids vs. younger ones is the fact that I feel a little bit more free to leave the new arrivals at home with other family members while I run an errand or even go out on a date with my husband. OK, we have only gone on three dates since the girls came home in August, but still-- I am sure that is three more dates than we had during our other adoptied children's first months home.

I tend to be very cautious about leaving infants and toddlers in the crucial early months when we are establishing a good attachment. Our society... more

The majority of families who adopt from Ethiopia go into it knowing that they want to adopt a baby. But as families get to know other adoptive families, either in person or via internet support groups, many people come in contact with families who have adopted sibling groups. Some families know without a doubt that they aren't up for that particular adventure. But a certain number of people wonder: do we have what it takes to adopt a sibling group?

The answer to that question is very personal, of course. When deciding whether or not a sibling group is right for you, keep in mind that two or more children may rock your family boat harder and longer than one child will. Depending... more

Here are some news highlights from Ethiopia this week. I've included a summary of each piece. You can click on the title of each story to go read the full story. As always, links are only good for a few weeks, unless you subscribe to the news service.

~~~~~~~ Eritrea: Border Row Threatens Terrorism War

A border conflict between Eritrea and Ethiopia is escalating again. The two countries went to war in May 1998, when Eritrea attempted to occupy the contested border town of Badme, a move that Ethiopia interpreted as aggression.... more

We have about a dozen pumpkins all turning a lovely shade of orange in the garden right now. I've made pumpkin muffins and pumpkin pie filling. But we still have a ton of pumpkins. So when my 12 year old mentioned an Ethiopian recipe for pumpkin stew, I was all attention. She didn't know exactly how it was made, and so I worked from her general instructions rather than from exact amounts. But the recipe turned out to be really delicious, and she told me it tasted right. So I thought you might enjoy hearing what I did.

Pumpkin Wat

--Start by chopping up part of a pumpkin,... more

Our second day in Ethiopia, my 11 year old daughter let me braid her hair. I made about 8 simple cornrows, going from her hairline in front back to the nape of her neck. Since her hair is much thicker and curlier than my other Ethio girls, I was pleased with this my first attempt. She-- not so much. She very sweetly said nothing at the time. But after that one hairdo, and one other simple cornrow hairdo at home, she declared, “Mom no do hair.”

Great, I thought with a sigh. I tried not to take it too personally, but after seeing pictures of the hairstyles she liked from her time in Ethiopia, I realized that... more

This evening at prayer time my 5 year old (home 3 years) was bopping and flopping around during bedtime prayers in the most distracting of ways. Repeated reminders and warnings didn't phase her a bit-- she was tuning out both her dad and me . Finally I told her that since she'd decided to disobey, she'd need to sleep in the toddler bed in my room. (I planned to move her to her own bed as soon as she fell asleep.)

Usually she shares a room with her 9 and 12 year old sisters, which she loves. I was hoping that being confined to my bedroom instead of her own would cause her to listen to my words a little more seriously in the future. She seemed mildly disappointed, but trundled... more

One fun tradition we have at our house is that of making a photo album for each child. We add to each album every year or two, and pull the child's album out at his birthday party each year so that we can all exclaim over how much the child has grown. I plan to give the albums to the kids when they become adults, but I may need to run each album to the copy store to make a copy for myself first!

Since our new daughters have come home, they have spent a bit of time flipping through their siblings' albums. It has been a nice way for them to get a sense of our traditions as a family, and they have loved seeing their siblings as babies and little children.

I just recently... more

Since this is a blog about adopting from Ethiopia, I rarely mention the adoption situations in other countries. However, right now there is something happening in Guatemala that makes me feel sad and that I believe anyone involved in adoption should care about. For awhile I have heard that adoption from Guatemala has slowed due in part to questions about the ethics of some adoptions. I have heard of many families who have opted to adopt from Ethiopia instead of Guatemala just because of these types of questions.

Currently UNICEF is putting pressure on Guatemala (via financial incentives) to implement the Hague... more

Many children during their first months at home have times of resisting affection or outright rejecting their parent’s touch. Last week one of my daughters had a couple of cranky days, and I found myself hesitating to reach out to her for fear that she would stiffen or reject me. Even a pat on the back or an arm over the shoulder felt risky.

Especially with an older child it can be tempting to give them some 'space'. But I realized after a day or so that my drawing back left her feeling even more alienated from me. No, kids sometimes don't want a parent's touch when they're feeling cranky. And, yes, it can hurt your heart as a parent to have your touch rebuffed.

And... more

I haven't talked much lately about boys' haircare, so I thought I'd share my friend Connie's method for cutting her AA boys' hair. A bald fade is a good looking hair cut that is done by barbers a lot these days. For this haircut it is easiest to have two pairs of clippers.

Either you can buy a set of balding clippers or simply unscrew the standard clippers and reset the blades until the tips of the two cutting edges meet. Standard clippers also come with guard attachments. For the hair on the top of the head you may be able to use the #1 or #2 attachment, especially if the hair has a looser curl.

If the hair is kinky and tight, don’t worry about using the attachments at... more