African hair in general is delicate. Adopted children who have periods of poor nutrition and less than optimal hair care will often come home with damaged hair. But whether a child comes home with a little hair or a lot of hair, it can sometimes be hard for parents to decide to cut their child's hair.

Little girls My daughter who came home at the age of 20 months has extremely delicate, very damaged hair. The damage was the worst in the middle of the back of her head-- you know, the typical place where baby hair gets broken off, leaving a bald spot.

At first when she came... more

One of my new daughters has recently begun constantly begging for cookies. I can say no-- or even yes. But 15 minutes later she is begging again, all with big puppy eyes. I asked my husband why he thought she'd begun doing this-- she didn't do it when she first got home.

"Oh, she's just trying to yank your chain", he said. As soon as he said it, I knew he was right. She knows I want her to eat healthy food. So she's decided that constantly begging for junk is a good way to tease me. Of course she also has a big sweet tooth. But the frequency with which she asks borders on obsession.

For... more

There has been a lot of speculation about how adoption laws might change once the courts in Ethiopia open again after the Ethiopian New Year. There have been rumors about single women not being allowed, about families with more than 5 kids not being allowed, about requiring a two year difference in age between existing and adopted children, and about requiring no more than 43 years age difference between parent and child.

Reports are now starting to filter through the adoption e-groups about the first court cases. It seems that so far the proposed rule changes are still just proposals. Even the most likely... more

When it is finally time to book airfare, your head can be in such a whirl that the little details can be hard to remember. Here are a few reminders. First of all, if you check prices at a website like Expedia.com or other popular sites to book travel, you will probably find prices to be quite a bit higher than if you get tickets through a travel agent who specializes in travel to Africa. It is possible to get tickets in the range of $1400-$2500 for a flight from the U.S. to Ethiopia, including connecting flights. In general, airfare is highest in summer, and as far as airlines go, Ethiopian Airlines usually has the lowest prices.

One of the perks of using a travel agent who is... more

Awhile back I read the book In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories by Rita J. Simon and Rhonda M. Roorda. The book interviews 24 African American or biracial adults who were adopted by white parents. As an adoptive parent I found the viewpoints in the book to be invaluable-- almost like a window into my kids' possible thoughts in the future.

Recently I had an opportunity to review a new book by the same authors -- In... more

I've got cramps in my hands tonight. You see, I spent five hours braiding hair today. ALL the girls were in need of new styles. I started in the morning with the two year old. I did 20 or so simple hanging braids all over her head.

In the afternoon my 12 year old and I did the 5 and 9 year olds, and then in the evening I braided the 12 year old's hair. The three older girls all decided they wanted the same half-up, half-down style.

I started by making a part across the back of the head, from the top... more

One of the things that often happens after the arrival of a child is something adoptive parents sometimes feel too ashamed to admit. At some point or another, days or weeks or even months after your child arrives, you just might find yourself grieving.

Sometimes it can be hard to pinpoint just what is triggering grief. But many folks realize that what is going on is that they are grieving their old lives. Adoptive parents invest so very much in getting these precious children into their homes that it can be hard to face those less-than-lovely thoughts.

Sometimes it can point out a bit of selfishness that you don't really want to face. You might even catch yourself wondering... more

Recently I have learned more about a new airline option from the U.S. to Ethiopia. In the past I have blogged about Ethiopian, Lufthansa and British Airways. But these days some families are opting for Emirates Air.

Emirates is a really top notch airline. Families say that it is luxurious even in coach, and does a great job of accommodating babies and children.... more

In puzzling over my berbere dilemma, I remembered all the red peppers that my husband had grown in our garden and picked just before the frost. After googling hot peppers, we identified ours as Anaheims, haberneros, and some incredibly potent Tabasco peppers. The Tabascos are almost hot enough to make pepper spray, according to the Scofield scale. One nibble off a Tabasco sent my 12 year old Ethiopian daughter into a coughing fit and caused my 5 year old (tricked into a nibble by an older sibling) to burst out wailing.

After soothing my poor 5 year old with a glass of milk and an invalid's pillow on the... more

For a few weeks now I've been sadly watching our berbere run out. Before our older girls came home, I'd sprinkle a tablespoon or so at most in a recipe. These days our girls use it 1/4 of a cup at a time, so it's running out a lot quicker than before. Awhile back Amazon.com sold berbere for $8 a pound, but when I clicked that link, it was no longer available. I've been hunting around hoping to find a good price, but all I could find was berbere that costs $10-$15 per pound. After paying a dollar or two a pound in Ethiopia, my frugal self was balking big-time.

Finally last week as we shook the dregs out of our berbere canister, I conceded defeat and bought some online at the cheapest... more