One of the things parents are often curious about is the meaning of their Ethiopian children's names. Most Ethiopian names have beautiful meanings. Here are a few basic rules of Ethiopian names. There are no inherited surnames. People take their father's first name as a second name. Women keep their maiden name on marriage. Names ending in '-u' are often male as this is the masculine form of 'you'. Women's names often end with '-esh', the feminine form of 'you are'.

Children will often answer to two different names, however. One name will be given at birth and be used at home, and a totally different name will often be given to the child at an older age and be used at school.

Children... more

Since most of us are in the shopping mood these days, I thought I'd toss out another book for you to consider as you shop. This one is called Forever Fingerprints and is written by Sherrie Eldridge. It was published this fall by EMK Press.

This children's story uses a relative’s pregnancy as a springboard for discussions on birthparents and adoption. I could relate to this, since some of my best adoption-related discussions with my kids have come in talk about an aunt's pregnancy.

I found the... more

I've noticed that my adopted kids seem to need a little more reassurance that I really do love them. They are more likely to claim that a consequence means I must 'hate' them. Or if another child is allowed something that they don't get, they'll swear it is because I love the other child better.

I've read that some adoptees fear rejection their whole lives. I don't think this issue is universal, but my experience with my children makes me think that it must be fairly common. Awhile ago one of my toddlers repeatedly expressed fear that I would leave him. When he misbehaved, he'd worry I... more

All children have times where they struggle to get along with siblings. But in many cases children who have experienced great loss in their lives will have an even more extreme reaction to hurt inflicted by siblings. Their feelings about even a small slight can be magnified by other feelings of loss, causing a stress reaction that is way out of proportion to the actual current wound. A child may grump for half an hour over a brother who accidentally steps on her toe, or rant on and on about the endless faults of a sibling who was unkind to her.

In my years of parenting many children, I've come to realize that it is a rare argument where only one child is entirely at fault, despite... more

Recently I was asked to review a resource from Beth Moore, a woman who is a popular Christian speaker and writer. It was a Bible study-in-a-box, a kit that contained everything you'd need for promoting and then hosting a retreat or a short Bible study. I gave away the kit on my other blog a couple weeks ago, and was planning to only mention it there. But then I watched the study myself, and found it completely applicable to the kind of parenting we often do as adoptive parents, especially with newly arrived older children.

In her presentation, Beth talks about the different types of people in the world.... more

An adoptive mom emailed me today, frustrated. She said that she got the referral of a baby girl in August during the court closure and is not scheduled to have a court date until late November, with travel planned for mid January. She is understandably eager to get her baby home and is wondering if her timelines are normal. She was also wondering just what has to happen between the court date and the embassy date since her agency is being vague regarding details. Her timelines sound very normal to me. In fact, I know some families who got referrals in early summer who have not yet gotten through court.... more

Friday night movies is a tradition at our house, one that we look forward to all week. We pick a movie that everyone can enjoy. We pop popcorn on the stove with oil-- it is so much yummier than with the air popper. We haul out the beanbags and the pillows and put on comfy PJ's. It is just one of the traditions that binds us together as a family.

Awhile back I wrote about some of the things we did wrong in the early weeks of helping our newest kids get settled in. I mentioned in passing that I thought we also did some things right. One of the biggest 'right' things we have done is to establish a predictable... more

A decade ago when John and I first began to seriously discuss adoption, it was not an easy decision. We had four children already, so it wasn't 'logical' to be talking about adding more. When we finally concluded we'd really like one more child, and decided that Korea was the best option at the time for our family, our next question was about the feelings of the child. How he would feel being the only adopted one, the one that didn't 'match'? Would it really be fair?

We decided that giving a child a chance at a home was better in the long run than not taking one child because we couldn't take two.... more

Each time we have brought a new child into our family, I've been very eager to begin the attachment process 'right' and to do everything in my power to help our children attach quickly. With our little ones I usually felt that some progress could be seen fairly quickly.

With our older girls I knew in my head that attachment would take time to grow. But in the first couple months after they came home I still felt a ton of pressure to do things right. I was constantly assessing my tactics. During a movie should I sit right next to a child on the couch, or give her half a couch cushion of space and... more

I wanted to tell you about two things related to getting books to Ethiopian children. This first bit of news will only be helpful to families in the Maryland and D.C. area. Jane Kurtz, children’s book author and president of Ethiopia Reads, will be speaking in Annapolis, MD this Saturday, November 17th, 2007.

Time: 4:00 – 6:00 p.m. Location: Naval Academy Primary School, 74 Greenbury Point Road, Annapolis, MD 21402 RSVP: EthiopiaReads@aol.com... more