Since we are a homeschooling family, the decision to homeschool our newest children was a fairly simple one. We are open to considering other options for our girls if they became necessary for some reason. But my experience with homeschooling has me convinced that homeschooling offers many benefits to newly arrived children. Some of the biggest benefits include the tutoring style of teaching, and the ability to personalize curriculum to the children's needs.

We've made it through our first week of homeschooling, and so far things are going pretty well. There are the usual pangs from various children... more

I have wondered how it would feel to bring older children into our home-- how long it would take for them not to be strangers. Would they smell different? Would they charm me immediately or would acting loving be simply a decision for awhile? Many adoptive parents discover to their surprise that love does not come instantly-- I had faced this dilemma once myself and know it is a normal thing, and one that can be overcome. And yet it feels so much better when you fall in love right away.

The first time I saw the girls was amazing. Our coming together was emotional and warm and felt so right.... more

When people inquire about our girls, they often are curious about how they are doing at learning English. When we arrived in Ethiopia four weeks ago, our girls could speak a little English already. I would estimate that they knew several dozen words-- much more than the dozen or so words we'd learned in Amharic, that's for sure.

During the first days together we tried to keep the language very simple: short sentences with lots of gestures. It was more difficult than I thought to not be able to communicate well. My husband was concerned all along that the language would be a problem. But for some dumb reason I didn't worry. I had read a lot of stories from other adoptive families... more

The other day I mentioned some great books for immigrant kids along with a giveaway for someone who shared more ideas. I then promptly forgot about the giveaway (where IS my brain lately??) Anyway, the winner of the book is Mariah, who shared book after book after book on her awesome list! Mariah, email me privately and I'll send you your book.

I also wanted to share the some more of the books that my family has read and enjoyed over our years of parenting adopted kids. You can locate most of these books on Adoptionshop, Amazon... more

I can barely express the respect I feel for my daughters. The way they have walked into this new life of theirs. Into room after room after room of new and pale and inquisitive people. The way they try new foods and go new places and embrace new adventures and learn new games and sing new songs and wrap their mouths and their minds around a plethora of new words.

Yes, there are times when they are unhappy. They've learned that their new family is human, after all. We can’t possibly measure up to the fantasy family that grew in their minds as they waited to come to us. How could there not be pangs of sadness as the dream-family fades away and before the real one becomes dear?

And... more

Many people are not aware that it is possible to breastfeed an adopted child. Mothers may choose to do this for nutritional reasons or bonding reasons or both.

Most adoptive moms can indeed produce some milk for their babies, but few can produce a full supply. There are some handy little gadgets that moms can use to supplement the baby while at the breast and to increase the baby's interest in nursing. Experts say that even 4 ounces of breast milk a day is enough to give babies all the immunities and health benefits of nursing.

In my opinion,... more

I find that I am feeling constrained in my blogging lately. I could be sharing the blow-by-blow daily minutia of older-child adjustment, and there are times every day where I begin mentally composing a story. However I am very concerned that as I write I not take away my children’s dignity or their privacy. I certainly would not want everyone and their neighbor to know every time I descend into the pits of unhappiness, (yes, indeed I do at times.)

I fear that if I blogged everything about my girls there might be a time (not too distant from now) when they might get curious about the writing I do, and be embarrassed by what I have disclosed. Somehow it feels different to talk... more

When we bring new children into our family, one of the things we most want is for them to feel like family, to settle in and have a sense of belonging. One really great way to foster that sense of belonging is through family traditions.

Traditions can be big or little. One of our most treasured family traditions is breakfast in bed for the birthday girl or boy. The birthday kid gets to choose the breakfast menu that morning, which isn’t always exactly on the birthday, but is always on a morning that the whole family is home. The birthday kid gets to sleep in while everyone else scurries around getting breakfast prepared.

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Not all adopted children will have attachment issues. But we as adoptive families would be wise to learn all we can about attachment so we can effectively parent our children if issues come up. Here are some of the most helpful attachment-related books I have read:

Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray This book is a great overview to help children of any age get well settled into their new family. It discusses factors that may affect attachment, common issue at various stages, and has lots of specific ways parents can help their children settle in well. I think... more

Paperwork all done? Twiddling your thumbs? Wondering what on earth you will do while you wait for your referral or for your child to come home? Why not plan an orphanage shower?

We had one before our first Ethiopian daughter came home, and it was a great success. People donated dozens of diapers, underwear, and socks, plus plastic diaper covers, vitamins, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and other useful items. I went to Ethiopia loaded down with great stuff to bring to my daughter's orphanage.

Planning Your Own

Start by asking your agency what your child's orphanage most needs. Ethiopian orphanages routinely use cloth diapers for the babies, and plastic... more