One of the things that I didn't give a lot of thought to before our girls came home was the issue of contact with family and friends. I assumed I'd be glad to have the girls keep in touch with any extended family, and I thought it would be neat if they could speak with friends on the phone from time to time.

When our girls got home, I was thrilled when they received their first call from a Layla House friend. Their faces glowed, and it was such fun to hear them chattering away in Amharic. What a great way to keep their language!

What I didn't fully comprehend was how many friends they have. Our phone was ringing nearly every day for them. Sometimes 2 or 3 kids would... more

We've been cooking so much Ethiopian food around here lately that our repertoire of Korean recipes has been neglected. Several times in the last couple weeks, our Korean boys have requested some of their favorite Korean foods. Today finally I got all the ingredients together to make kimbap.

The boys were eager to introduce their new sisters to some real Korean food. As much as I adore kimbap, I had some serious reservations about whether the girls would appreciate this introduction. They were really good about trying new foods in the first month home. But now that some of the newness is wearing off, I am hearing... more

Many adoptive parents are very concerned that their babies become well attached to them, and this is wise. Attachment is a precious thing and should not be taken for granted. I wrote in a previous post about some ways we can help babies get better attached to us. But how do we tell that our efforts are working?

First of all, your own emotions about the baby are a huge indicator of how things are going. Mother-love doesn't always come instantly-- don't panic if it takes you awhile to feel in love-- and a mom suffering from post-adoption... more

Here are some news highlights from Ethiopia this week. I've included a summary of each piece. You can click on the title of each story to go read the full story. As always, links are only good for a few weeks, unless you subscribe to the news service.

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Improved Relationship with Corporate Giant Starbucks

A report from Washington D.C. states that an agreement has been reached between Ethiopian coffee growers and Starbucks. Ethiopian coffee growers have already seen their export price rise from $1.30 a pound to... more

The following agencies are currently licensed in Ethiopia. Please note that the comments below are an ongoing conversation that occurred over several months time. Also, the first two agencies are commonly referred to by the same acronym (AAI), but are in fact different agencies.

U.S. Agencies

Adoptions Advocates International 709 S. Peabody Port Angeles, WA 98362 Phone: 360-452-4777 Email: merrily@adoptionadvocates.org http://www.adoptionadvocates.org

Adoption Associates International 1338 Baldwin Jenison, MI... more

When you bring home a baby past the newborn age, some things are the same as if you've brought home a newborn and some are different. A newborn will most likely attach easily to a loving mom. An 8 month old who has been cared for by several different caregivers might attach effortlessly. Or he might take some months to become well attached.

But there are definitely things you can do that help a baby attach more quickly. In a future post I will also discuss some ways to tell if attachment is going well.

Five Tools to Help Your Baby Attach

1. When you bring your baby home, hold her and carry her as much as you possibly can. We Americans have... more

Awhile back I blogged about my little daughter at the age of three looking around her at the swimming pool in puzzlement at the many white people surrounding her. She finally said, "Where is all the brown?" At the time I was amazed that a three year old would be aware enough to articulate such a question and I was very glad that at least she had a Korean brother to point to.

Today when we once again brought our children swimming at the same pool, the story was a little different. Along with our two Korean kids, we now have four Ethiopian daughters. Besides our kids, today there were also a dozen or so Hispanic people and one other little African American girl. In a group of... more

Lots of adoptive families are waiting eagerly for the courts to reopen. It is expected that cases will be again moving through court beginning most likely by the second week in October. Along with wondering when exactly the first cases will be heard, there is also much speculation about new rules that supposedly will be implemented.

There are rumors that Ethiopia may become more strict about the age difference between the child to be adopted and children already present in the adoptive family. The Ethiopian government has talked about insisting that there be a three year age gap between the child to be adopted and any other children in the family. Some adoption agencies are certain... more

I talked in a previous post about the importance of teaching new children the rules of the family. However, I'm first to admit that it is much easier to explain rules than to motivate children to follow them.

The trick is to help the children care about rules. This is where the concept of ‘units of concern’ come in. Basically, you are trying to help your kids care about following the rules. You want them to be motivated to do things your way, and you can do this by setting up rewards and consequences.

For example, if a child is slow getting his or her homework done, instead of sitting at his... more

When new children come home, of course the primary goal is to help them settle in and become well attached. However if you adopt a child over the age of toddlerhood, it becomes quickly apparent that children also need to learn to fit in and cooperate as a part of the family. They need to learn the expectations in your family.

Different families have different expectations. At first the longing to have your new children like you can make it tempting to not insist on anything in the way of good behavior. In the first weeks it is wise to major in the majors. You may choose to ignore poor table manners for a few weeks or not insist on PJ’s every night or let go any number of other... more