I want to summarize some of the things I think it is important that we do as adoptive parents to help our children thrive.

Acknowledge that our children have experienced loss in their lives

We adoptive parents have gotten such a great gift from the presence of our children in our lives that sometimes we forget that great loss and sadness is also involved. We need to acknowledge that loss so that if and when our children exhibit sadness, we will be able to listen and be prepared to help... more

When I was straightening my daughter's bookshelf this evening, I realized that I have one more fun book to tell you about before I end my stint here at Adoption.com. Stacy at www.amharickids.com was kind enough to send me a review copy of one of their new books a few weeks ago. It is called Our First Amharic Words and in 20 pages it teaches 75 Amharic words in a kid-friendly brightly colored format.

I gave this book to my 5-1/2 year old for Christmas, and she was just thrilled. She has been... more

Did you just stumble upon this blog recently? I hope you'll go back and read the archives -- just click the links to the right. However I realize that is a huge undertaking. As I’ve been preparing to say goodbye here at adoption.com, I’ve been looking back at my time here and thinking about all the writing I’ve done. I'm certain it would be enough to make a good-sized book.

So I thought I'd help you out and give you the Cliff's Notes version. I’ve picked ten posts that I am most proud of to highlight here. I think they best represent the kind of information and support I’ve tried to give you... more

There's something about knowing someone is coming to inspect your house that can rattle nerves. In 2005 we were preparing for the homestudy for our 4th adoption. You'd think I'd be old hat at it, but there I was, cleaning away. Still, all would have been fine if it hadn't been for the mold.

My 2 year old had been waking up so early in the mornings that winter that I'd turned an old quilt into a black-out shade for her room. Just before the social worker arrived, I went in to give the bedroom and pulled the blanket off the window, only to discover mold- MOLD!- growing all over the back side of the... more

In her wonderful book Attaching in Adoption, Deborah Gray gave many great suggestions for helping kids attach well during their first year at home. Here are some of the points she mentions in her book.

Spend lots of time every day nurturing your child

The most important thing you are doing in your child's first year home is building trust. Stay with your child as much as possible. Be sensitive in meeting his needs. Respond quickly when he cries. Bottle-feed, rock to sleep, and make lots of eye contact. Feed him treats. Show your child he can depend on you. ... more

A great way to pass some time while waiting to travel is to do some reading about the sights and activities in the Addis area and plan some things that you would like to do. Most people choose to do some shopping. You can read about bargaining here. I found a beautiful mesob that I was able to bring home. There are also museums, restaurants,... more

This post is an ongoing project to make it easier for Ethiopian adoptive families to find each other's blogs. When it shows up at the top of the blog, it has just been updated. If you would like to be added, leave a comment. I'll update it every month or so, and I'll mark additions as 'new'. I would LOVE IT if you'd add my blog to your blogroll too!

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4 Kikstras 4 Little Birdies 5 McC Kids 7701... more

The other day when my husband and I were preparing to head off on our get-away, our new kids were noticeably antsy. First of all, they didn’t seem familiar with the idea of parents taking off and doing something alone. We have gone on three or four dates since they got home. But this overnight thing was puzzling to them, and despite their excitement over a planned sleepover at Grandma's, they were also concerned.

Our teenaged daughter tried to help us reassure them that we'd be home soon and that they’d be fine in the meantime. She reminded them that we’d been away from the rest... more

Often when you are helping a new child settle into your family, you will encounter a lot of negativity. You say up. The kid says down. You suggest the red shirt. He prefers the green one-- the one with the hole in it. You remind the child he liked a dish last time you served it. He swears it is the worst poison known to man.

Eventually with consistent, steady consequences for misbehavior and lots of love, opposition does mellow out and kids do heal. However, at the height of the challenging behavior it can be extremely challenging to show smiling eyes and loving actions towards a child who... more

Over New Years John and I did something we hadn't done in years. We went away overnight, without any kids. My mom graciously agreed to have all ten of our kids over to her house for a New Years sleepover. And John and I took off. We went shopping and out to eat and in honor of the new year we even went dancing. There are more details here, if you are interested. But for now let me just say that it was wonderful, every bit of it.

Nevermind that it almost took a crowbar to pry ourselves away from the younger kids as we walked out... more