Transracial issues

The fastest growth in African adoptions is centered in the country of Ethiopia. Ethiopia is located in the 'horn' of Africa. It is a country that is economically on the rise according to today's journalist. Yet, if you look deeply into the state of this country, you will see that it is suffering the effects of poverty and illness. The number of AIDS deaths are on the ascent and the children are being orphaned at alarming rates. All of that being said, it is one of the fastest growing countries for international adoption. The October 2010, version of the East Africa Forum states that there are over 5 million orphans in this one country and that its government is stepping up to do something about… [more]

In my early morning reading of emails, I noticed the following article from the BBC: UN 'runs out of aid for Ethiopia'. The article mentions several reasons why this is happening and also points out how things could be made easier. I will not go into the details since the article is an easy read, and I do recommend that you read it. After seeing this email I jumped over to the World Food Programme page and found some really educating (but not boring) information about the horn of Africa and why exactly things are so hard for them right now. Again, I stress that this is a good thing to watch if you have a child from this… [more]

I had been nervous about learning how to do Mita and Enu's hair before I met them. When I discovered that Mita had a bad fungal infection on her scalp, with multiple encrusted and seeping scabs, my nervousness left me and I went into nurse mode! I quickly got treatment from our agency's Doctor. I learned that this is a common infection in group home settings and can be hard to keep under control. We started her on pills twice a day for six weeks. I also used a harsh dandruff-like shampoo on both Mita and Enu's hair for six weeks. Since Enu slept with Mita, I was trying to keep her from getting it as well. I kept hair brushes separate and… [more]

We've been cooking so much Ethiopian food around here lately that our repertoire of Korean recipes has been neglected. Several times in the last couple weeks, our Korean boys have requested some of their favorite Korean foods. Today finally I got all the ingredients together to make kimbap. The boys were eager to introduce their new sisters to some real Korean food. As much as I adore kimbap, I had some serious reservations about whether the girls would appreciate this introduction. They were really good about trying new foods in the first month home. But now that some of the newness is wearing off, I am hearing a bit more negativity towards food. They still eat well, but almost every day someone expresses disdain for… [more]

Awhile back I blogged about my little daughter at the age of three looking around her at the swimming pool in puzzlement at the many white people surrounding her. She finally said, "Where is all the brown?" At the time I was amazed that a three year old would be aware enough to articulate such a question and I was very glad that at least she had a Korean brother to point to. Today when we once again brought our children swimming at the same pool, the story was a little different. Along with our two Korean kids, we now have four Ethiopian daughters. Besides our kids, today there were also a dozen or so Hispanic people and one other little African American girl… [more]

When we adopted our first Black child, my eyes were opened to the lack of diversity in my own world. I realized that not only did we live in a predominantly white community, but we also watched TV shows that featured mostly white characters, read books where white people were the main characters, and bought Disney movies where the princesses were almost uniformly pale-skinned. I began a hunt through bookstores for books with African-American characters. I was a voracious reader as a child, but the only Black characters that I remember reading about were very stereotypically drawn Southern mammies with accents. I would wince to read such things to my children these days. Over the past few years, we have significantly… [more]

This Sunday afternoon, we're packing the family into the van and heading over to the home of a perfect stranger. Well, maybe not entirely a stranger-- two of my sisters have met her, and I have heard from several other people that she is a very nice person. I am incredibly eager to meet this gal, because she is only the second Ethiopian adult I have the privilege to know in our area. The first one has since moved away. There are other Ethiopians in our area, I'm told -- well, three or four dozen at minimum, and probably more. But I must not be living in the right part of this valley, because I haven't run into them. And so I am delighted that… [more]

Nesting in expectant moms is normal, but if you are planning an older child via adoption, prepare for turbo-nesting. At least that's what older child adoption has done for me! My girls are 9 and 11, and my case of nesting started innocently enough. I cleaned our girls’ room, bought them new pillows, repainted a dresser, washed and sorted clothes, and filled their dresser. Normal stuff. But then I started imagining how our house might look to someone who'd never seen it before. Suddenly all I could see was cobwebs in rafters and weeds in flowerbeds. The woodpile looked like a giant had kicked over a Tinkertoy house. The boot rack in the garage was glopped with garden dirt, and the… [more]

In the past few months I've come across some insightful posts, including this one by Mayhem and Magic written by adoptive parents of Black children, wrestling with the thorny issue of whether or not white parents really can do a good job raising Black children. Since we are for the first time in the process of adopting older children, this is something I've been thinking a lot about. When you adopt an infant or toddler, they just think of you as mom. They're used to looking at that white face every day. Sure, there will come a time (probably sooner than you imagine) when that child will look at you and look at himself and ask why you don't match. But there is… [more]

Much talk is devoted to the experience of a child being adopted into a family of another ethnicity. What about the biological children in a transracial adoptive family? Howe does it feel to field questions about your brother or sister on a regular basis? How does it feel to be part of a conspicuous family? Recently I read a series of essays written by young adults who'd grown up with adopted siblings of another race. One young person was filling out a college application when she realized she didn’t know what state she was born in. Ironically, she knew exactly where her Korean brother had been born--- in fact she’d visited the city in Korea on a family trip. She knew… [more]