There have been some excellent comments made on this post: Looking For Racism? I know that my experiences with racism as a white woman are different than what my Black daughters will face. That is why I so much appreciate when people take the time to enlighten me.

Myla's recent comments are very on-point and balanced. Don't miss them! And thanks to each and every one of you who takes time to read and comment. Keep it coming!!

The other day I was at the park with my family. My younger children were playing on the playground. We joke that my 4 year old can make friends anywhere- she is very social and very well liked.

Sure enough, when she'd looked around a moment or two, she approached a girl a year or two older, asking if she wanted to play. However instead of her usual social success, this time the girl she approached tried first to ignore her. Then when my daughter spoke again, the girl said, "I don't want to play with you!"

My very first knee-jerk thought... more

If you are an adoptive parent and you're thinking about moving, you may have wondered just how diverse your potential new home is. A few evenings ago I came across a great website with a wealth of information about cities all over the US: City-Data.com

Plug in the name of the city that you are considering, and you will have access to an amazing amount of information. My husband and I have thought of moving to Oregon because of its greater racial diversity.

We were amazed to discover that while Black people comprise around 8% of the Portland population, in neighboring Salem, the Black population is a mere 1.4%. That's only marginally... more

Every summer I run my own summer reading program, rewarding my children for the reading that they do while school is out. I've found it's easier to do it myself than to make sure we get in to the library the prescribed number of times, and get all the signatures on the reading logs, etc.

The rules of Mom's Reading Program are simple: read as many books as you are old, and at the end of the summer you get to pick out a book at Barnes and Noble. The kids who can't read yet always get to pick out a book too, and my older, most avid readers almost always earn at least two books... more

One of the things that was mentioned in the New York Times article I mentioned earlier this week was the difficulty that adoptees can have integrating into black culture if they have been raised in white families. From the article:

Robert O’Connor, 39, who was raised by a white family in Rush City, Minn., recalled his struggles growing up in a small town with few other blacks.... more

In that New York Times article the other day there was a facinating graphic. Check it out if you haven't seen it yet.

The 2000 Census, the first census that actually asked adoption-related questions, found that most children are adopted by families of the same race. Non-white households rarely adopt a child of another race-- their statistics were not mentioned in the graphic. But here is how it looked in white adoptive families. A whopping 87% of white families adopted a white child.

This... more

There was an interesting article in Thursday's New York Times: Overcoming Adoption's Racial Barriers. It talked about the persistent discomfort of people with transracial adoption even in the face of increasing numbers of adoptive families who choose to adopt chldren of another race.

Rhetoric around the issue has softened considerably since the National Association of Black Social Workers, in 1972, likened whites... more

I got such wonderful comments on this post: Kids Who Look Like Us. Thanks everyone! Joel's comment in particular was so insightful that I wanted to be sure no one missed it.

From Joel:

"When we started considering adoption a few months ago, my wife discovered one of the programs in Ethiopia an started leaning heavily in that direction. I had reservations, but for the longest time I couldn't put my finger on why. These children aren't any less beautiful, or valuable, or deserving of a loving home than any other. Why was I holding back?

"Then I came across some blogs on the Internet... more

When I was an adoption novice I was appalled to learn that in the adoption community there is a hierarchy. Really. There are gradations of value in people. Fees are different, depending on the race of child you request. The lighter the skin, the higher the fees.

Our most recent Ethiopian adoption was about $14,000, including lodging and airfare. Fees for the adoption of a Black baby in the US can cost even less than that. Adopting a Korean baby these days will set you back $20,000 or so. And a Caucasion baby adopted privately in the US or from Eastern Europe? Hold on to your... more

Last week we were on vacation, playing on the beach and getting some down time. We live in a part of the country that is not very racially diverse, and the coastal town where we usually vacation is not much better mixed.

So one day when we were playing on the beach, and a Black gal walked by, she caught my eye. She noticed my little girls too, and made eye contact, and we smiled at each other as she walked on past. I noticed then that her 4 walking companions were all white. There were some older, some younger.

I wondered if they were her family? Her friends? Coworkers? But most of all I wondered how it felt to be the only Black person in the group. Did she feel... more