Sleep overs-- did you do them as a kid? Are your memories fond ones? Or do some of the memories of the shenanigans make you blush?

I personally have some real reservations about sleep overs. As a child, some of my most unsavory moments occurred at a sleep over in my very own home, right under my folks' noses. There was a friend there who was way more.. umm, mature than the rest of us. Jokes, words, filthy talk.

She gave me more of an education than my third grade self needed. I didn't have the nerve to tell her to quit-- nor did I speak to my folks about it. It is darned hard to stand alone against peers who are being stupid.... and difficult to expect parents to... more

Ethiopian kids tend to have very dry skin, which is made even more obvious because the dark tone of the skin makes any dryness at all look grey and 'ashy'. My girls need lots more moisturizer than my Caucasian kids do.

When their skin gets very dry, they can even develop tiny dry bumps all over, especially where clothing rubs across tummies. And when frequent nose-wiping is in order, their cheeks really suffer.

I've found that to keep their skin looking its best, daily generous use of lotion is the way to go. My favorite low-cost solution is the Walmart Equate' brand version of Eucerin... more

With all my writing about attachment and attachment parenting, I thought it might be nice to share with you what a typical day looks like in terms of attachment parenting at our house. Of course each family has to decide what works for them. But here‘s how it usually goes for us.

I wake up in the morning with my 1 year old sleeping in the crook of my arm, and my 3 year old, who has crawled in with me around 6 or so, snugged against my other side. Some people might find it impossible to sleep under these circumstances, but I somehow do just fine at it. Years of experience sleeping with little ones, I suspect.

I extricate myself from between them to head for the bathroom.... more

I finally did it. After 10 months home, I left my baby with a babysitter. To be truthful, the babysitter was her 16 year old sister, so it was not an unfamiliar situation for her. But it was a first. I was gone for five whole hours, and at bedtime to boot. I was relieved to get home at 11 p.m. and find the baby asleep in her bed, and the teenager not any worse for the wear either.

Some folks might say I am being overly paranoid-- certainly it would have been fine to leave her sooner. And maybe they’re right. But it took me that long to feel confident that she was ready to be away from me... more

A friend shared this article with me talking about treatments for attachment disorder. Internationally adopted children are at risk for attachment disorder because of the many caregivers most of them experience before homecoming. Not all internationally adopted children will be challenged by attachment disorder. The article suggested, however, that about one in five will.

The biggest challenge in dealing with a child with attachment... more

My one year old is sick. She's got the flu, with fever and vomiting. She and I were up rocking quite awhile during the night. While rocking I was thinking how precious it is to be cuddling her. Kids always seem to soak in the cuddles so eagerly while they're sick. If there is any good side to illness, maybe that is it.

While rocking I also got to thinking about attachment, and how it always feels so natural to rock a sick child. During normal times, the busyness of life can sometimes get in the way of cuddles. But illness forces life to screech to a halt and make time for nurturing.

Maybe if we thought of newly arrived kids as sick in a way, or at least emotionally... more

A few weeks ago I was sick--so sick that all I did was lie on the couch all day. It was just a cold, with a nasty headache, congestion, and body aches. But I really felt cruddy. I was so sick, in fact, that the next morning my 7 year old told me he’d had a bad dream about me: he’d dreamt I turned into a slug. Good thing I don’t get sick too often.

But it does make me wonder how it affects my baby. During the first part of the day, she kept coming over and hanging on me. A few times she even pulled on my finger while trying to walk away, obviously coaxing me to get up. I did cuddle her, fed her... more

When you talk to adoptive parents who have just brought home kids, one of the problems that will be mentioned over and over again is sleep. Often, probably in the majority of cases, newly arrived kids will have problems sleeping. This applies to 8 month olds AND 8 year olds. When you think logically, it makes sense. These kids have been moved to an entirely different world. New sights, sounds, smells, activites, and people. Almost nothing is the same.

Think about when you’re worried about something. During the day you can often block out the worry by keeping busy. But then you go to bed... more

My kids enjoy playing a computer game called Zoo Tycoon, where you set up a zoo and get points based on how well you care for your animals. Each animal is equipped with its own ‘health bar’--- a little line above it head that tells -- you guessed it-- how healthy it is. If the animal is doing well, its bar will be all or mostly green. An animal on the brink of death will have a mostly red bar.

Awhile back my 13 year old was giving me grief, hassling me with his sighs, Charlie Brown-like, arguing with me every chance he got, and just generally... more

This weekend I got an email from a mom concerned about her 1-½ year old son. He has been home from Ethiopia for a year. The mom reported he seemed fairly well attached to her but she is concerned at his friendliness with strangers and his willingness to be picked up by them. She wondered if that was a problem or just the sign of a friendly kid.

Her concerns sounded familiar since my 16 month old sometimes acts the same way. She is a beautiful child, drawing attention wherever we go, and frankly, she has really begun to enjoy it. If someone, even casual stranger walking by, does not address... more