This week I will be sharing stories from various families who were kind enough to share what their three to six year old's adjustment into the family was like. Some stories are brief. Others will take several posts to share. But all are helpful in giving you an idea what it is like to bring home a child past the age of two.

First up is Sharon, mother of eight adopted children, all of whom came home in the three to six year old age range. I've linked you to her blog http://www.heartsofhopeadoption.blogspot.com/ in... more

One of the things I want to do with each of our adopted children is to take them on a homeland visit to see the country where they were born. We are hoping that we'll be able to do this when our kids are between the ages of 10 and 13 or so. Our Korean boys both turn nine this spring, and I've been thinking that maybe 2008 or 2009 would work for a trip back to see Korea.

How Old Should Kids Be?

Adoptive Families magazine had an excellent article on homeland visits recently and here is what... more

Lauri over at Adoptive Parenting has a knack for asking great questions about adoptive parenting that get me just itching to share. Today she mentioned that she recently wrote a letter to family asking them to back off a little in the affection department with her child, as she has recently been seeing some signs that her daughter needs to be better attached to mom and dad before branching out. This reminded me of a similar situation with one of my children and I wrote the following reply.

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Hi Lauri,

I read the first paragraph of this post via bloglines and knew I had to read more, because it just flooded back old memories of the attachment process... more

Lauri over on the Adoptive Parenting Blog wrote an interesting post this week about 'regressing' a child by treating them a little younger than they actually are for awhile to help them become well attached. I wrote about some of the things I have done with my little ones here: Jump-Starting Attachment. Lauri talked about doing some of the same things with her daughter. But she has a question.

Now that we have been home awhile I have found myself... more

The typical American viewpoint that an independent kid is a better kid is just plain wrong for newly arrived adopted kids. New children, whether they seek it out or not, need lots of contact with their new parents to maximize bonding. They need attachment parenting.

I am going to focus on four areas: closeness, touch, feeding, and sleeping, and talk about how attachment parenting looks for different ages of children.

CLOSENESS

Staying close to a baby is easy. Get a good baby carrier, like an Ergo or a HugABub, and carry your baby on your hip or in a baby carrier at least an hour each day. For a toddler who weighs more than 25 pounds or so, a frame-style... more

The other day we rented a few movies to watch with the kids. One was an older one: Snow Dogs. I'd remembered watching it a few years ago, but didn't remember any specifics about it. My husband and I sat down to watch it with our four younger (all adopted) kids.

Right from the start it was evident that the story line was about adoption, which put me instantly on guard. Some movies mention adoption in a positive light. Many do not. I could see my hubby tense up, watching intently too, trying to gauge if we were going to have to do damage control due to the movie's portrayal of adoption.

Instead as we listened and watched, we became increasingly more pleased with the... more

With the holidays approaching, now is a good time to think of our newly arrived children (especially those who have been home less than six months) and ways that we can ease their transition into our family while still allowing for the happy hustle and bustle of the holidays.

Establishing a routine is an important part of helping a child feel safe in his or her new home. Many families report that their new children become very stressed at breaks in the routine, and that acting-out behaviors intensify in unfamiliar settings and activities. In general it is wise to keep kids close to home in their first weeks in a new family.

But especially if there are other children in the... more

I enjoy reading the blog The Naked Ovary. She has just brought a toddler home from China, and this weekend posted about her struggles to help her new daughter sleep. After posting a big long comment at her place, I decided to also share my comment here, since sleep issues in newly arrived kids are so very common.

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My reply:

One of my sons came home at the age of 20 months when his 'big' brother was only 23 months of age. My new son woke crying in terror several times a night due to the huge... more

I sit on the couch with my hubby at 10 pm as usual, yawning through the news. Also as usual, my one year old sleeps on my lap. Most nights she does this for that last hour or two of the evening, before I finally decide I'm not going to get the whole internet read tonight and shuffle reluctantly off to bed, with her draped noodle-like over my shoulder.

Most evenings this arrangement suits all of us completely fine. For some reason, though, tonight I get thinking about how nice it would be to type a blog post without a child on my lap. I pad back to the bedroom to lay her down. Tucking her in, I come back to the living room. As I sit down, I say to my hubby, "I wonder... more

The other day in a fit of temper, one of my younger children threw something across the room where it hit the TV. I told the child that as a consequence he was to clean off a counter in the kitchen.

"I hate work!" he howled, distraught.

Attempting to help him regain some perspective, I sat with him on the couch so we could talk. I talked about the dangers of throwing things, the importance of self control, and the importance of learning how to be a cheerful worker.

I gave him hints on controlling his temper: take a deep breath before you say something you'll regret. Think before you act. And on and on I went, imparting pearls of parental wisdom, even though his... more