When you're going through the process of adoption and looking forward to the homecoming of your children, you can fit in a lot of daydreaming. You imagine combing and braiding your child's hair, playing games together, rocking at bedtime, and dressing him in all the clothes you're bound to collect during the wait.

You are probably at least somewhat prepared for sleep deprivation-- at least as prepared as you can be. You won't be too surprised if your baby pitches his food off the tray or if your two year old learns 'no' as his very first word in English.

It is harder to imagine the emotions that accompany this new job. Some moms who adopt infants report feeling head over... more

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My agency’s yahoo group is a tremendous source of support for adoptive families. The families are candid about the challenges they’ve faced with their children, and generous with advice and encouragement for new families overwhelmed by similar problems.

Often the group goes for weeks with only encouraging stories to share. But every few months there’s discussion over a child who is really running mom and dad through the wringer. People have shared stories of babies who wake up every 40 minutes all night, preschoolers... more

Precious Girl,

I can hardly believe you are five. I remember the first time I saw your picture, being confused because we didn't expect our referral so soon, and having to call the agency to ask if they'd really meant to send us the information about you. They laughingly told us it wasn't a mistake, and we sat down to stare at you -- our daughter -- some more. The pictures showed a chubby solemn-faced child. During the wait for you to come home, I worried that you would be serious and withdrawn and fearful.

You were. For about three days.

And then you came out of your shell and began to light up our lives. You are the girl who at the playground immediately... more

Recent rumors about Angelina Jolie claim that she is currently in the process of adopting a little boy from the Czech Republic. In the past I've shared that I'm a fan of Angelina. I’m all for adoption. I’m all for big families. And certainly she has the financial resources to pull this off. We'll see if there's any truth to the stories currently circulating. But if it's true, this adoption seems very close on the heels of the adoption of her son Pax from Vietnam.

Kids take time to settle into families. Preschoolers are especially challenging. They’re old enough to... more

Sometimes we as adoptive parents like to see adoption as a clean and perfect thing. We want a child. A child needs a family. Put the two together and you have a perfect solution. It's all good, right?

If you've read me more than a few days, you know how pro-adoption I am. Adoption is indeed a great solution for families who want children and children who need parents. I believe that there was a divine plan that brought these future daughters of ours to our attention after their mother died.

However, I get a lot less comfy with the words 'meant to be' when I think about the tragedy that brought them to us. If I say that our girls were meant to come to us, am I also... more

Here are some news highlights from Ethiopia this week. As always, links are only good for a few weeks, unless you subscribe to the news service. I've included a summary of each piece to help you decide if you are interested in reading the full story.

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30,000 Runners To Hit Road At Millenium

The Daily Monitor in Adds reported on Friday that 30,000 runners are expected to run in the 2007 TOYOTA Great Ethiopian Run. Elite athletes from all over the world will be running in this 10 km road race, which is scheduled... more

We sent back the official referral paperwork on our girls on Friday. In the batch of papers we returned was one I hadn't seen with our previous adoptions. On it they ask parents to list the resources they will use: standard ones like pediatricians and dentists, but also specialized ones like mental health professionals and international adoption clinics.

This form also asked families to spell out their plans for dealing with various challenges they might face. What would you do if your child was depressed and withdrawn and would not speak to you? What would you do if your child was physically aggressive? John and I had already thought through similar scenarios, but it was helpful... more

I've wondered before just how scary it must be for a small child to leave everything familiar and fly across the world to a new life. Each time I have gone to adopt a child, I've assumed they were afraid. But it is never till a month or two down the road that I can look back at the pictures of their first days home and get a glimpse into the depth of the fear they must have felt. It takes that long to know their faces, you see-- to learn how their eyes look when they're afraid, how the facial muscles stiffen up when overwhelmed with anxiety.

That fear is not exclusive to children. The book... more

In church this morning the mothers were called to the front to receive flowers and blessings. As I stood up front looking back at the precious ones who’ve made me a mother, I thought of our two girls still waiting in Ethiopia. I thought of their first mother, who died around Mother’s Day last year.

Last year our girls were grieving their first mother. This year they are awaiting a promised new mother whose face they have not yet seen. A year from now, Lord-willing, they will be settled into the heart of our family.

Next Mother’s Day when I stand at the front of church looking out at my family, and see my new daughters’ faces in with the familiar ones, I will be thinking... more

"Liar, liar, pants on fire," goes the childhood chant.

If you've been a parent for any length of time, chances are you've caught your child in a lie or two. Experts say that lies told by two and three year olds usually aren't 'real' lies-- they're just wishful thinking. Your child wishes she could tell you that she picked up her blocks, and so she says she did, in hopes that saying so will make it true.

You have to judge your child's cognitive ability for yourself. I'm sure there's something to that 'wishful thinking' theory. But I've also seen preschoolers lie purposefully. Usually if a child is doing the latter, you will see uneasiness, whereas a child involved... more