Now that it is only a few weeks until we leave, I am feeling scatterbrained, alternately screamingly impatient to head off to get the girls, and frantically fearful that there is way too much still to do before we leave. I long to leave. Yet I am already dreading leaving our other children, even though I know we have good care planned and that they will be safe and have fun and be fine.

Yesterday we thought for awhile that we might be able to leave a week sooner than planned. And so I went through all the plans, starting to rearrange things, wondering if it would all work, before we realized that we just couldn't get 6 seats flying home with that short of notice. So we're back... more

Before I ever knew we would not always be adopting babies-- actually, before I knew we would even adopt at all -- I began a photo wall to display pictures of our babies. It climbs the staircase from our living room to the upstairs bedrooms. The wall features two pictures of each child, one a baby picture and the other a recent photo. After we had four children by birth, we began adopting babies. Our oldest two adopted babies were 20 months on homecoming. I was thrilled to realize that the tradition would still work. Because I'd chosen to feature a toddler photo instead of a newborn one, their pictures fit right in on the wall with the other kids. For years I've loved that lineup of baby... more

Hooray-- we passed! The girls are ours!! This morning, showing my typical extreme (lack of) patience, I emailed my agency director at exactly 7 am, her time. Yes, I realize that the agency's business hours do not begin until 8 am. But I know from past experience that Merrily is an early bird. Within about ten minutes I had an email back. No, she hadn't heard any court news from the Ethiopia director yet.

For the next hour and a half I did a bit of writing and a bit of chatting with another waiting mom who was also eagerly waiting for news, jumping eagerly to check my email for good news every time that little mailbox icon popped open on my computer screen. time after time I... more

One of the peculiarities about adoption is that the intensity of the waiting waxes and wanes. When you are waiting for one particular document to reach your agency so that your paperwork can go to Ethiopia, you can be almost jumping out of your skin with impatience.

When you hear it will be months till you get your referral, you settle down, and can sometimes go hours (days?) without devoting much thought to the adoption. That cycle repeats over and over until finally you get your child home.

We are waiting very-- um-- intensely here today. Our court date in Ethiopia was scheduled for today. We are hoping to get news very soon that we have passed and that the girls are ours.... more

I've been doing a lot of talking this week about grief and loss. I'm sure some folks are thinking this is overkill. I've been there. Especially when you're at the start of the adoption process, it can be overwhelming to read about the issues that adoptees might face. We want our kids to be happy, and we want adoption just to be another great way to build a family.

I think y'all know by now that I am a passionate advocate for adoption. As I mother both the children who were born to me and the children whom I was blessed to be able to adopt, I can say without reservation that the adopted children are just as gratifying to parent, and that I feel just as much their mother. They... more

The other day I got new pictures of our girls. One of the girls was wearing a pink floral jumper dress, with a brown paisley long-sleeved blouse over top. I know from walking the streets in Addis that this is a perfectly normal clothing combination in Addis. However it would be a little unusual here in America.

It immediately reminded me of conversations on our agency's email support group talking about newly arrived older children. Parents report that their girls are totally oblivious to American conventions of clothes matching. Some girls come up with combinations that are wild enough to earn them ridicule when they go to school.

And as for the boys-- well, they often... more

Recently I blogged about grief, and the importance of talking with our kids about adoption-related issues. I just recently had a conversation with my daughter that again pointed out the surprising things that can be perking around in the head of even the most well-adjusted child.

The other evening I went in the bedroom to tuck my 5 year old into bed. She was sitting up in bed, tucking her dolls into the space next to her.

“This one is the mom of these ones,” she said, pointing to her lone white dolly... more

We got back from church camp last evening. I wrote on my other blog about my stint as camp cook. I came home limp as linguini after all that work. But this is what I came home to.

Yes. Letters. SIX letters from our girls in Ethiopia. And five pictures. And a necklace. It was the most incredible thing to read the words they had written (with the help of a translator.) The excitement that they felt about having a family just seemed to burst off the page.

Our younger girl (age 9) said she's glad we live on a... more

I got a question recently from a reader.

I'd like to hear from someone who has adult children living in the home who is also wanting to adopt an older child. I have this situation in my own home. I have 6 birth children ages 2-21. The princess of the family who also is 18 and graduating high school this month is not approving of the decision my husband and I have made to pursue adoption. We tried for a year or so to have another child on our own but at my age(41) I am becoming too old and after tons of testing it is confirmed that my old eggs probably won't produce another baby.

We want to parent another child. We don't care how it gets here. ... more

Great news - our court date is June 29th! I am optimistic that all will go well, but will be holding my breath just a little until we get news that we have passed. A fair number of families don’t pass court the first time around due to a relative not showing up in court or a paper not being there that the judge wanted, or some other small issue.

I also got news from a traveling mom that she’d seen our girls and thought they were awesome. Her words carry even more weight because she is a child psychologist and deals with lots of kids every day. Of course that doesn’t mean that we won’t have issues at home-- I’m sure we will. But it is reassuring to hear from her and others that... more