If you are waiting for your child to come home, chances are you can't get enough of happy homecoming stories. I read a neat one recently that I wanted to share with you. Marcia Nelesen of the Janesville Gazette tells the story of the Munger family of Wisconsin and how they brought home a toddler from Ethiopia.

On Valentine's Day, Tegegn's photo, taken when he was 10 months old and weighed 9½ pounds, was sent to the Mungers thousands of miles away.

"I absolutely fell in love with him instantly,'' Colleen recalled. "Just look at those eyes. They are just calling out to you.''

Today, Tegegn (pronounced ta-GAIN)... more

Recently on other adoption.com blogs, there has been discussion about the 'proper' name for birth mothers. Click on over to the Transracial Blog and the Birth/First Mom Blog to catch this discussion if you have missed it.

This is a hot topic for many people, and always generates lots of comments in adoption circles. Reading the discussion, a story from my childhood came to mind-- an old fable. Here it is for you.

************ To... more

This phrase was one I would not have thought twice about a decade or so ago. But becoming an adoptive mom has put a whole new slant on it for me. Usually my husband and I hear the phrase "your own kids" when people have just found out that we have eight children.

"How many are your own?" people will then ask. I know that the phrase is said in ignorance. They just want to know how many of our children are biologically ours, and this is they way they ask.

When I hear that phrase, without even looking down, I always feel the eyes of my little ones around me, looking up, listening. Answering the question as people expect us to, by telling them that only 4 are 'ours' denies... more

When families decided to adopt, they are naturally excited and eager to get moving forward with this plan to add to their family. But when it comes time to inform the relatives of the plans, it can be a real shock to discover that often there are extended family members who are much less excited about this adoption.

Adoptive families report that relatives share a whole variety of emotions. If there are already children in the family, grandparents may wonder why the family has decided they need more kids. Relatives may be concerned that their feelings... more

(Part One here) So what types of sleep training work for a newly arrived child?

The name that is most often heard is Ferber. People talk about 'Ferberizing' their babies. That is, they put them to bed and let them cry for a few minutes, checking on them now and then, and then gradually increasing the time away until the child decides the parent isn't coming and goes to sleep.

There are many ardent proponenets of Ferberizing including some adoptive parents. But to me it sounds way too close to what babies have already... more

Many families new to adoption are very surprised to hear that the majority of adoptive families state a preference for a baby girl. This despite the fact that they themselves may indeed be requesting a baby girl.

An article in Slate magazine in January of 2004 Bringing Up Babes: Why do adoptive parents prefer girls? details the surprising statistics:

[In 2003] the Census Bureau released an unprecedented report comparing adopted, biological, and stepchildren based on results from the 2000 Census—amazingly, the first census to... more

I just spent a little time skimming through some of the resources on adoption.com and wanted to share some of the best of what I found. First of all, in the Library, you'll find all sorts of helpful articles on all different topics. Articles featured this week include: Pressing close and pushing away: the dance of ambivalence in adoption

Dealing With Unsolicited Comments

... more

I had lots of fun reading about all your referrals! The winner of the book is Paige. Read her comment here. I loved the image of her talking on her cell and trying to dress while still covered with accupuncture needles!! Paige, if you will email me adoptethiopiablog@adoptionmail.com , I will send you the book that you won!

Everyone, thanks for playing along, and let me know if you have ideas for topics that you would like covered on this blog. I'd love to hear them!

I haven't yet shared the story of our other Korean referral. It isn't your typical referral 'call'. I spotted our son on an internet photolisting in September 1999 and for some reason immediately felt a connection to his photo. He was about 15 months old at the time.

Our other Korean son had been home a year at that point and was just 18 months old. We were just starting to wonder if it might be good for him to have a Korean brother, but we weren't at all committed to the idea of adopting again just yet.

Until I saw that photo.

I immediately... more

We began the process for our second Ethiopian daughter in February 2005. We requested that, if possible, she be from Kidane Mehret, the same orphanage that our first Ethiopian daughter was from. We didn't know if that would speed or slow our referral wait.

But the previous June we'd actually been able to host Sister Camilla, one of the Kidane Mehret nuns, in our home for a few days when she'd come to the US escorting a baby for our agency. So our relationship with Kidane Mehret was an important one to us and we really liked the idea of people who knew our family being in charge of caring for our next baby during the wait.

In February, our agency director let the nuns... more