Over New Years John and I did something we hadn't done in years. We went away overnight, without any kids. My mom graciously agreed to have all ten of our kids over to her house for a New Years sleepover. And John and I took off. We went shopping and out to eat and in honor of the new year we even went dancing. There are more details here, if you are interested. But for now let me just say that it was wonderful, every bit of it.

Nevermind that it almost took a crowbar to pry ourselves away from the younger kids as we walked out... more

As you might have been able to tell by some of my recent posts, I was psyched for some tough moments over Christmas. We had one, in the form of a stressed-out meltdown on the way to the church Christmas program. For awhile I was wondering if that child might need to sit with us and let another child speak her lines. But despite her case of nerves she was determined to be a part of the program. By the time her part came, she was smiling and on top of her game.

The rest of the holiday went amazingly well. Because... more

Ten years ago at Christmas time I didn’t know if my husband and I would ever adopt. We’d been discussing adoption for months, but he just wasn’t sure it was the right thing for our family. We already had four children, after all. I talked, prayed, cried, worried, and wondered. And when it seemed he would not come around I tried to let go of the dream.

Ten years ago as Christmas approached I told my husband that all I wanted for Christmas was his fingerprints, the first step in the adoption process. He asked me if I wouldn’t... more

The day we decorated our Christmas tree, our girls were rather sober. They shared memories of the way their Ethiopian mom had loved to decorate for Christmas. The preparation for this Christmas had obviously stirred up sadness over their past, and it took them a few hours to get back on an even keel.

It is not only older kids who find holidays difficult. All ages of newly arrived kids may become stressed by the hustle and bustle. Even newly arrived babies may feel overwhelmed by the breaks in routine that happen with additional activities. The many strange faces and strange arms reaching... more

First of all, you may have noticed I've been posting a little less often lately. Something about TEN kids is keeping me crazy-busy. I wanted to remind you that there is tons of information in the archives. Just click on 'Categories' to the right to see the many topics I have already covered. There's enough info here to make a book, I suspect. If you're overwhelmed by the bulk of it, try reading just one category from the archives each time you visit. And by all means feel free to suggest new topics if you search the archives and cannot find something.

Now, on to the update on our family. Our girls came home four months ago today, and I am grateful to say that life is getting... more

An issue that adoptive families often face when their children begin school is the dreaded family tree project. Typically a school will send home a request for family information so that each child can construct his or her own genealogy, or family tree.

When a child has been adopted domestically and knows or has contact with some of his birth family, many families choose to add the known birth family into the family tree, right along with the adoptive parents. Many parents of internationally adopted children, however, know nothing about the child's... more

All children have times where they struggle to get along with siblings. But in many cases children who have experienced great loss in their lives will have an even more extreme reaction to hurt inflicted by siblings. Their feelings about even a small slight can be magnified by other feelings of loss, causing a stress reaction that is way out of proportion to the actual current wound. A child may grump for half an hour over a brother who accidentally steps on her toe, or rant on and on about the endless faults of a sibling who was unkind to her.

In my years of parenting many children, I've come to realize that it is a rare argument where only one child is entirely at fault, despite... more

Recently I was asked to review a resource from Beth Moore, a woman who is a popular Christian speaker and writer. It was a Bible study-in-a-box, a kit that contained everything you'd need for promoting and then hosting a retreat or a short Bible study. I gave away the kit on my other blog a couple weeks ago, and was planning to only mention it there. But then I watched the study myself, and found it completely applicable to the kind of parenting we often do as adoptive parents, especially with newly arrived older children.

In her presentation, Beth talks about the different types of people in the world.... more

Friday night movies is a tradition at our house, one that we look forward to all week. We pick a movie that everyone can enjoy. We pop popcorn on the stove with oil-- it is so much yummier than with the air popper. We haul out the beanbags and the pillows and put on comfy PJ's. It is just one of the traditions that binds us together as a family.

Awhile back I wrote about some of the things we did wrong in the early weeks of helping our newest kids get settled in. I mentioned in passing that I thought we also did some things right. One of the biggest 'right' things we have done is to establish a predictable... more

Over a decade of being an adoptive mom, I've had lots of people ask how our older biological children have felt as we have brought each of our new children home. Our first adopted child came to us when our big kids were 10, 8, 6, and 4 years old. We were really excited about moving forward with adopting, and our excitement was contagious. Our kids laughed in delight right along with me when we tore open our referral packet and saw their new brother's face for the first time.

Each new child has come into our family to a similar welcome. In general our other children's adjustment to our newest children... more