Precious Girl,

I can hardly believe you are five. I remember the first time I saw your picture, being confused because we didn't expect our referral so soon, and having to call the agency to ask if they'd really meant to send us the information about you. They laughingly told us it wasn't a mistake, and we sat down to stare at you -- our daughter -- some more. The pictures showed a chubby solemn-faced child. During the wait for you to come home, I worried that you would be serious and withdrawn and fearful.

You were. For about three days.

And then you came out of your shell and began to light up our lives. You are the girl who at the playground immediately... more

"Liar, liar, pants on fire," goes the childhood chant.

If you've been a parent for any length of time, chances are you've caught your child in a lie or two. Experts say that lies told by two and three year olds usually aren't 'real' lies-- they're just wishful thinking. Your child wishes she could tell you that she picked up her blocks, and so she says she did, in hopes that saying so will make it true.

You have to judge your child's cognitive ability for yourself. I'm sure there's something to that 'wishful thinking' theory. But I've also seen preschoolers lie purposefully. Usually if a child is doing the latter, you will see uneasiness, whereas a child involved... more

I enjoy reading the blog The Naked Ovary. She has just brought a toddler home from China, and this weekend posted about her struggles to help her new daughter sleep. After posting a big long comment at her place, I decided to also share my comment here, since sleep issues in newly arrived kids are so very common.

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My reply:

One of my sons came home at the age of 20 months when his 'big' brother was only 23 months of age. My new son woke crying in terror several times a night due to the huge... more

(Part One here) So what types of sleep training work for a newly arrived child?

The name that is most often heard is Ferber. People talk about 'Ferberizing' their babies. That is, they put them to bed and let them cry for a few minutes, checking on them now and then, and then gradually increasing the time away until the child decides the parent isn't coming and goes to sleep.

There are many ardent proponenets of Ferberizing including some adoptive parents. But to me it sounds way too close to what babies have already... more