I found an interesting blog over at iVillage.com called the Baby Naming Wizard. If you, like me, are spending time thinking of baby names these days, you'll probably be interested in this blog. As an avid Angelina-watcher, I especially was interested in a pair of posts written about Angelina Jolie's baby-naming habits. First of all, the blog's 2006 Name of the Year:

Shiloh will make parents take a fresh look at the seemingly familiar realm of Biblical and Old-South place names. (Think Jericho for boys, Shenandoah for girls.) Massive public awareness,... more

When you build your family via traditional means, chances are good that your children will come one at a time, and (of course) be newborn on arrival. As far as the sex of your baby, you get what you get.

However, when you adopt, the possibilities go on and on. Should you adopt a newborn? A 6 month old? A toddler? A school aged child? Girl? Boy? Or how about a sibling group? Girls? Boys? One of each? How old should the older child be? The younger?

My husband and I had a meal out on Friday during which most of our conversation revolved around these issues. What do we want our family to look like in a year or two? What do we feel capable of handling? Should we... more

One of the more challenging decisions of parenthood is the question of spacing. How close is too close? Is a four year old ready to be an older sibling? What about a two year old?

The added issues of adoptive parenting can make this decision even more challenging. A two year old who's been in your family since young infancy may be less needy than a two year old who came to you at 18 months. Certainly it is wise to help the youngest become as securely attached as possible before bringing another child home. But just how long does it take to settle a child in securely?

Another issue is... more

While surfing the internet yesterday I came upon a blog by someone who felt passionately that American families should adopt in America. Unlike some who voice this opinion, this person actually HAS adopted in the US-- hooray! Many people who question adoptive family's choices haven't even adopted anywhere themselves - I have a lot of respect for people who actually live out their convictions.

I am glad that people are moved to champion the cause of domestic adoption. Actually I am glad when anyone champions adoption from any part of the world. There are so many kids in need all over the world. ... more

Recently a reader emailed asking for guidance on deciding if adoption is right for her family. I think that the first and most important qualification for an adoptive parent is the desire simply to be a parent. I truly believe that most people with the capacity to be good parents can also be good adoptive parents. People sometimes think of adoptive parenting as some exotic kind of parenting- a tiny bit unnatural, even?

That simply isn't true. The vast majority of the activities that fill a parent's day, like brushing teeth and tying shoes and giving hugs and helping with homework and tucking in at night, are the same whether your kids were born to you or to someone else. Adoptive... more

A few days ago I was talking with my sister and a friend, remembering the adoption process for my 4 year old. Before we decided to go with Ethiopia, we waiting on an African American baby in the US.

First we were offered babies whose birthmoms had extensive scary drug history. Then we had a long time where no birth mom picked our profile. And finally when we did get a birth mom who picked us, she changed her mind AFTER we flew across the country to go adopt the baby.

Eventually we decided that our baby must not be in the US after all. We went with Ethiopia. Our agency required that we be open to a baby up to 12 months in age. But I fantasized about being referred a... more

Earlier today I shared the link to a blog of a mom discussing how she and her spouse chose what type of child to request. There are a few other links that I think might add more to this discussion.

Here are three blog posts I wrote this summer:

Overcoming Adoption's Racial Barriers - discusses an Aug 2006 New York Times article

Kids who look like us - talking about the hierarchy of adoption

Why Not Transracially?... more

Adopting a child who is not the youngest in your family is called adopting out of birth order. Many social workers feel that the ideal situation for most families is for the new child to be the youngest in the family, since this tends to make it easiest for all the children to adjust to. However, many families do decide to adopt out of birth order, and there are many success stories.

There are some things you may want to consider. If you do plan to add an older child it may be a good idea to add a child who is a few years older or younger than the nearest child, and/or of a different sex than the nearest-age child in the family. For example, if your oldest child is an 8-year-old... more

When I get to talking with someone unfamiliar with adoption, people will often look admiringly at my beautiful children, shake their heads, and say, “Oh, I don’t know HOW their birthmom could give them up. How could they ever do it? I know I couldn’t.”

The subtext of the message is that they think of the birthmoms of my kids must have been terribly callous creatures who just thoughtlessly ditched their children without thought or regret. I have even heard, “Oh, they only want boys over there. They give away all the girls." (Yes, said about Ethiopia-- a patent untruth but spoken with breath-taking conviction.)

I always jump to the defense of the birthmothers. ... more

I read an interesting article recently on family. org. It stated in part:

"Adoption agencies have reported a growing interest in adopting children with Down's syndrome. Partly because of education efforts and mostly because of positive first hand experiences, there is a waiting list for couples who want to adopt one of these loving special needs children. In some cases the waiting period is as long as three years.

David Tolleson of the National Down Syndrome Congress says there are challenges but the good outweighs the bad. “Uniformly the families have found that having an individual with Down... more