In early 2005 we were in the midst of homestudy prep for our 8th child, our 4th adoption. I was a tad more relaxed than I had been the first time around. But still, there's something about knowing someone is coming to inspect your house that can rattle nerves.

I did the cleaning over several days. By the time we got down to the morning of the homestudy, I had almost everything done. One of the things I'd saved for the last minute, though, was taking down the black-out shade in my 2 year old's bedroom.

She had a big window right over her bed that let a lot of cold air drop down onto her bed in the winter... more

Earlier today I shared the link to a blog of a mom discussing how she and her spouse chose what type of child to request. There are a few other links that I think might add more to this discussion.

Here are three blog posts I wrote this summer:

Overcoming Adoption's Racial Barriers - discusses an Aug 2006 New York Times article

Kids who look like us - talking about the hierarchy of adoption

Why Not Transracially?... more

My husband works for a fairly big company in our area, one that employs several thousand people. Sometimes when you work for a company that big, your needs can feel lost in the shuffle. But we have always felt supported in one important way.

My husband's employer offers a $2000 adoption benefit. With each of our four adoptions, they have handed us a check, usually within a month of homecoming-- just in time to help pay for all those expensive airline tickets that we put on our credit card to get our child home.

An article in yesterday's New York Times entitled Breaking the Biology Barrier ... more

A question I have often gotten is how we manage to afford to adopt again and again. I shared our story elsewhere, but in this post I wanted to explain more about the timing of the various fees associated with adoption.

When people hear that all our adoptions have cost in the range of $15,000+ they are usually shocked. That's a big chunk of change. What many people don't understand is that you don't have to dump all your pennies out on the counter at once.

Now keep in mind that different agencies have different fees and probably different expectations for the timing of fee payment. So... more

To afford adoption, lots of people need to cut a few corners and find some new ways of saving money. The internet is a great resource for getting frugal-living ideas. Here are some of my favorite 'inspirational' sites.

CreativeFrugality.com- Here is a wealth of frugal-living information on many different topics, including saving money on gas, wedding gifts, kids' rooms, and children's parties.

Hilbilly Housewife- The main focus of this site is trimming the food budget. This happens to be one area where I find it easiest to reduce expenses. Some expenses,... more

The first time I went to Ethiopia I didn't bother to get a phone card. I figured I would be mostly emailing my husband, and if he called me at my hotel, we'd keep the conversations short, and the cost would not be a big deal.

Boy, was I wrong! When I opened up my phone bill a few weeks after I returned home from Ethiopia, I almost fell over. The phone bill was more than $700, a whopping $650 more than usual.

Turns out it is very hard to have a short conversation with your husband when you are on the other side of the world picking up a baby and there are 5 kids at home missing mom.

Also... more

Adopting a child who is not the youngest in your family is called adopting out of birth order. Many social workers feel that the ideal situation for most families is for the new child to be the youngest in the family, since this tends to make it easiest for all the children to adjust to. However, many families do decide to adopt out of birth order, and there are many success stories.

There are some things you may want to consider. If you do plan to add an older child it may be a good idea to add a child who is a few years older or younger than the nearest child, and/or of a different sex than the nearest-age child in the family. For example, if your oldest child is an 8-year-old... more

The Ethiopian court system closes down for about 6 weeks at the end of every summer to coincide with the Ethiopian New Year. Typically this closure extends from mid-August through the entire month of September. The first cases after the closure are usually heard the first or second week in October.

With the court closure looming, around this time of year, families who don't yet have a referral start to wonder if their referral will come through in time for them to go to court before the closure. If they don't... more

I have a confession to make: I am a woman possessed when I am in the midst of an adoption. I move through paperwork like lightening, and forgive my cockyness, but I am pretty darned good at it. Here are my best tips for keeping that paperwork moving.

Who Cares Most?

First of all, remember that YOU are the person who cares most about your adoption. Always. No matter how well intentioned people are, it is YOU who will have to keep your adoption paperwork on the front burner in people's minds.

Make The Human Connection

At each point in the paperwork-gathering, try to make a personal connection with the actual person who... more

Today I was going through some old papers and found an old email I wrote 8 years ago, right after we had our first homestudy ever. We had four biological kids at the time and were in the process of adopting a child from Korea.

The whole homestudy process was so mysterious that I went a little nutso when it came to preparing our home. I cleaned closets. I cleaned out the fridge. I cleaned under my bed. The kids' rooms were spotless by the time I got done with them. I even bleached grout, for pity sakes.

Here's the email I wrote to the adoption email group after it was all done.

1-22-1998 Hi All, We survived! I feel like shouting it... more