There's something about knowing someone is coming to inspect your house that can rattle nerves. In 2005 we were preparing for the homestudy for our 4th adoption. You'd think I'd be old hat at it, but there I was, cleaning away. Still, all would have been fine if it hadn't been for the mold.

My 2 year old had been waking up so early in the mornings that winter that I'd turned an old quilt into a black-out shade for her room. Just before the social worker arrived, I went in to give the bedroom and pulled the blanket off the window, only to discover mold- MOLD!- growing all over the back side of the... more

I've done a lot of thinking lately about kids who end up being adopted by a family in another country even though they have living relatives still in Ethiopia. Sometimes adoptive families feel so uncomfortable about that idea that they tell their agency that they want to adopt only 'true' orphans, kids who have no living family at all. That is certainly a legitimate choice, and I totally understand the feelings that lead families to make that choice.

However, I think that sometimes families do not fully understand how alone a child can be in the world even while in the care of a member of their extended family. Certainly there are uncles and grandparents who do a good job taking... more

An adoptive mom emailed me today, frustrated. She said that she got the referral of a baby girl in August during the court closure and is not scheduled to have a court date until late November, with travel planned for mid January. She is understandably eager to get her baby home and is wondering if her timelines are normal. She was also wondering just what has to happen between the court date and the embassy date since her agency is being vague regarding details. Her timelines sound very normal to me. In fact, I know some families who got referrals in early summer who have not yet gotten through court.... more

A decade ago when John and I first began to seriously discuss adoption, it was not an easy decision. We had four children already, so it wasn't 'logical' to be talking about adding more. When we finally concluded we'd really like one more child, and decided that Korea was the best option at the time for our family, our next question was about the feelings of the child. How he would feel being the only adopted one, the one that didn't 'match'? Would it really be fair?

We decided that giving a child a chance at a home was better in the long run than not taking one child because we couldn't take two.... more

A mom wrote me recently telling me that she and her husband are in the early stages of the adoption process. She learned recently that a fair number of the children being adopted out of Ethiopia still have living birth parents. She asked me why the children are being relinquished, if one or both parents are still living. And she asked me if I thought that the increase in adoptions from Ethiopia is encouraging poor, but fit parents to relinquish their children.

These are some really big questions, and I certainly don't claim to have all the answers. I know that there are many, many true orphans who desperately need families. But I also think that there are many situations where... more

The majority of families who adopt from Ethiopia go into it knowing that they want to adopt a baby. But as families get to know other adoptive families, either in person or via internet support groups, many people come in contact with families who have adopted sibling groups. Some families know without a doubt that they aren't up for that particular adventure. But a certain number of people wonder: do we have what it takes to adopt a sibling group?

The answer to that question is very personal, of course. When deciding whether or not a sibling group is right for you, keep in mind that two or more children may rock your family boat harder and longer than one child will. Depending... more

When you're at the beginning of the adoption process, one of the things that can weigh heavy on your mind is the homestudy. What will it be like to have a social worker come inspect your house? What kinds of things will he or she be looking for? What if she says your house isn't big enough? And just how clean does it have to be, anyway?

With our first homestudy I cleaned like a maniac: in closets, under beds, in the fridge, everywhere. I even scrubbed the grout in the master bathroom with bleach and a toothbrush. It was out of control.

Lots of other families have anxiety... more

The following agencies are currently licensed in Ethiopia. Please note that the comments below are an ongoing conversation that occurred over several months time. Also, the first two agencies are commonly referred to by the same acronym (AAI), but are in fact different agencies.

U.S. Agencies

Adoptions Advocates International 709 S. Peabody Port Angeles, WA 98362 Phone: 360-452-4777 Email: merrily@adoptionadvocates.org http://www.adoptionadvocates.org

Adoption Associates International 1338 Baldwin Jenison, MI... more

As we waited for our newest daughters to come home, we did a lot of thinking about their names. Since they are older girls, we decided we'd really like to keep their Ethiopian names as their first names. After all, they've had the names for a decade each, more or less. It seemed rather presumptuous to bring them home and start immediately calling them something else.

However, we did think we might like to choose them each a middle name that is more Americanized, so that they might have another legal name to use at some point if they chose to. We tossed around lots of ideas. But again, since the girls are older, it really seemed like they should have input regarding even the... more

A reader asked for an explanation of the process of 'authenticating' the documents in the dossier before they are sent on to Ethiopia. The reader knew that the dossier must be authenticated at the Dept of State at the embassy in DC, and at the Secretary of State parent's own state, but wasn't sure exactly what was involved.

I'll take a stab at explaining this just to help you understand this process a little better. But please don't take this as THE definitive explanation. Different adoption agencies may do their documents just a little differently. You'll need to find out your own agency's exact process before you start gathering documents. It is fairly complicated and you... more