With all my writing about attachment and attachment parenting, I thought it might be nice to share with you what a typical day looks like in terms of attachment parenting at our house. Of course each family has to decide what works for them. But here‘s how it usually goes for us.

I wake up in the morning with my 1 year old sleeping in the crook of my arm, and my 3 year old, who has crawled in with me around 6 or so, snugged against my other side. Some people might find it impossible to sleep under these circumstances, but I somehow do just fine at it. Years of experience sleeping with little ones, I suspect.

I extricate myself from between them to head for the bathroom.... more

I finally did it. After 10 months home, I left my baby with a babysitter. To be truthful, the babysitter was her 16 year old sister, so it was not an unfamiliar situation for her. But it was a first. I was gone for five whole hours, and at bedtime to boot. I was relieved to get home at 11 p.m. and find the baby asleep in her bed, and the teenager not any worse for the wear either.

Some folks might say I am being overly paranoid-- certainly it would have been fine to leave her sooner. And maybe they’re right. But it took me that long to feel confident that she was ready to be away from me... more

When you talk to adoptive parents who have just brought home kids, one of the problems that will be mentioned over and over again is sleep. Often, probably in the majority of cases, newly arrived kids will have problems sleeping. This applies to 8 month olds AND 8 year olds. When you think logically, it makes sense. These kids have been moved to an entirely different world. New sights, sounds, smells, activites, and people. Almost nothing is the same.

Think about when you’re worried about something. During the day you can often block out the worry by keeping busy. But then you go to bed... more

This weekend I got an email from a mom concerned about her 1-½ year old son. He has been home from Ethiopia for a year. The mom reported he seemed fairly well attached to her but she is concerned at his friendliness with strangers and his willingness to be picked up by them. She wondered if that was a problem or just the sign of a friendly kid.

Her concerns sounded familiar since my 16 month old sometimes acts the same way. She is a beautiful child, drawing attention wherever we go, and frankly, she has really begun to enjoy it. If someone, even casual stranger walking by, does not address... more

America is so rich compared to Ethiopia. And yet in some ways Ethiopian mothers may know more about what babies need that we Americans do. We in America focus so much on getting babies independent. If an American mom carried a baby as much as Ethiopian moms do, people would probably tell her she was spoiling her child. The pressure on American babies is always to grow up faster.

When groups of American mothers get chatting, talk can sometimes sound like a competition. The faster a baby sleeps all night, loses the binky, gets rid of the bottle, walks alone, soothes himself to sleep,... more

Recently I read a question from a woman feeling pressure to go back to work when her newly arrived 6 month old had been home just 4 weeks, but wondering how it would affect her baby's attachment to her. I think she is right to be concerned. Of course each family has to make their own choices. But in my opinion if you want to ensure a strong attachment with your child, 4 weeks is much too soon to go back to work, even part time.

I know that some women simply MUST go back to work. But if there is the slightest wiggle-room in your work/ maternity leave situation, I always would opt for the longer... more